Or: But it’s a little different if you’re pretty far away from the disaster area
Every now and then, we all have to deal with impending natural disasters. A particularly vicious one has been in the news lately, flying at my state like a ninja star from the sky.
The danger zone is actually catastrophically dangerous, and this post is not about that zone. This is about the blue X.
Lucky for us, we live hundreds of miles inland, far outside of the danger zone. The biggest dangers for us are power outages or trees falling down.*
*We live in a place filled with the tallest, bendiest, most terrifying pine trees known to man. They exist exclusively to make everyone panic when the wind blows.
I did not grow up in hurricane country.
Even this far away from the coast, though, disaster preparations have been in full swing. Grocery stores have been out of eggs, milk* and bottled water for a week.
*For emergency french toast parties, obviously.
This is not the first weather-related emergency preparation event that my husband and I have gone through, however. Many years ago*, I volunteered for the task of preparing our home for a possible power outage.
*Like maybe 2 and a half, tops.
Such trust!
And I did. I made a list. I went shopping. Supplies were obtained and stocked in the house.
I also made sure to unpack the most important supplies before my husband got home.
Can’t you just feel the overwhelming confidence?
This is a possibly accurate recreation of this power outage in our home. Perhaps you, too, can be as prepared in future circumstances:
No one knows if you’re utilizing ladylike eating habits when the power goes out.
You will notice that we clearly already owned a flashlight. Boy Scouts would envy this level of preparation.
I should probably help clarify things by illustrating what was on the floor behind me:
***Supplies***
This is an accurate representation of how I do not blink while staring into flashlights.
For those of you who are lost, this provides important context.
It is important not to throw ice cream in the dark.
Completely worth it.
So next time you’re picking up your emergency supplies, and you’re frustrated by all the things the store is already sold out of…consider what we learned from Jurassic Park: Ice cream is rarely sold out, tastes delicious when melting, and is actually best enjoyed during power outages.
Spare no expense when it comes to emergency supplies, you guys.
All fun and games aside, Hurricane Florence has wrecked real havoc on the homes and lives of so many people. You can be awesome and help those in need by giving to charities like All Hands and Hearts, or the Red Cross. I joke because my city regularly panics over even the most basic weather situations, but hurricanes really are no joke. It’s more important than ever to help our fellow humans out right now.
Perpetual Plot Hole 