I guess everyone has to have an “about me” page. You know, to give readers the warm-fuzzies over shared personal details. And by “shared”, I mean “I tell the Internet things that you read anonymously.”
- I post
Monday through FridayMonday, Wednesday and Friday…usually before noonbefore midnight*
*But sometimes not.
Because sometimes I like my bed more than the Internet.Because sometimes I am bad at blogging.
- I am
2829, and have no shame in admitting it
- I have a cat. I talk to her. I’m practicing to be a future cat lady.
- I usually don’t respond to comments on the weekend. It’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because I’m ignoring my computer.
- I am a cancer survivor. You can read a little bit about that here.
- I can do a handstand (but I need a wall to do it).
- I know all the words to an Old Navy ad that was on TV when I was in high school. Why? Because it annoyed my dad, and I was a teenager. (Love you Daddy!)
- I draw almost everything on Post-It Notes, but I have yet to buy stock in Post-Its. Because thinking ahead is not something I considered before publishing this blog.
Things I like:
- Food that is innately bad for me, like
- Macaroni and Cheese. Forget the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Mac & Cheese is my religion.
- Marshmallows, and their unnecessarily more elaborate cousin, s’mores.
- French Macarons, for when I’m feeling like a pretentious dessert
- Sharks, and therefore Shark Week
- Movies, good, bad and almost everything in between
- Scotch Tape
- TV specials about parasites.
Things I hate:
- Scary movies about Christmas or Santa Claus. It’s a time of LOVE, people.
- All the other bugs that aren’t mosquitos
Everyone on this blog who isn’t me is supplied with a fake name, except for my parents.
I post drawings on this blog, fairly regularly. They are copyright me, because I drew them, and they are the brainchildren of my very own thought-box. However, I love to share, because I did kindergarten correctly. You are welcome to use my doodles elsewhere on the Internet, but please link back/share the source or credit. I’d do the same for you.
Only mosquitoes? What about scary bees?? I hear they eat elephants, which shouldn’t matter as I live in Canada, and we don’t have elephants. Just polar bears. Do bees eat polar bears?
Well obviously only mosquitoes. Bees can’t be scary for two reasons:
1) Monsanto keeps killing them, so eventually they won’t exist. Then small children of future generations would be super confused by my references to bees being terrifying. I don’t want to confuse future generations because that would be super mean.
2) Bees make honey. Everyone likes honey. Except deranged people. So bees allow me to sort out deranged people with ease. Thanks, bees!
Bees probably do eat polar bears, though. I learned that on the Internet. But since bears are substantially scarier than bees, I’m pretty sure you should go high five a bee.
P.S. – You’re the only clown that doesn’t terrify me. Good job!
1) Screw you for your very thorough (and great) reply and ;
2) That’s because I’m the only nice clown.
I appreciate how point #2 backs up point #1.
Kisses and bee-high-fives,
I’m so happy I came across your blog! I really like your writing style. Oh, and we have a thing in common, I think I’m addicted to s’mores, especially around a camp fire!
I’m glad you found my blog, too – especially because it introduced me to your blog! Now we can form a s’more union and institute them as “mandatory campfire food.”
We shall get it made into law. For the good of everyone.
Ahahaha! I think this will be the best law out there!
I’ll be definitely in touch. You seem like a fun person!
I’m 36 and also practicing to be a crazy cat lady–I’m up to three right now. Food that’s bad for me, yep I like that. Halloween that’s good too. Sharks? Um, did you not see Jaws??
Yay! This sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I totally blame Jaws for providing me with a fascinated terror of sharks, that the Discovery Channel has sweetly nourished with Shark Week. Now I just can’t help myself – I have to watch every second of shark-y action!
Yes, it’s crazy. I live in Colorado and by golly I can’t get in a swimming pool without picturing that menacing fin coming up behind me so I can be swallowed whole. Sometimes, I even hear the music.
Swimming pool sharks ARE the most dangerous kind of sharks. Because they’re the least expected.
But at least Jaws taught us all to listen for the dangerous approaching-shark music. It’s such a great warning 😉
Was the Old Navy ad the performance fleece one? Because I do remember that one (though I was way out of high school during those days even).
YES! “Performance fleece! Oooo it’s fine! Performance fleece? I’ll be there at nine!”
Honestly, this will probably be the one thing I can recite on my deathbed.
I want to go
With you as my guest
In my performance fleece
I’ll be the best dressed!
(or something like that)
With the goofy looking guy on the ski lift, The Jeffersons, Morgan Fairchild…
Ah. Marketing memories!
Annnnddd now I can’t stop laughing. Thanks! 🙂
I think there seriously needs to be a national Post-it celebration day because there are a lot of us who seriously can’t live without them and–less seriously–doodle all over the freakin’ things! I am also a lover of cats and currently own one that beeps (of course everything I own has to be in some way strange or broken!) I am also, also 28 though on the verge of 29 and about to write out a turning 30 bucket list. I’m curious what you would put on such a list. 🙂 Looking forward to more blogs!
Right now my number one thing on my “turning 30” bucket list is “get a fake ID so I can pretend I’m not 30, and have it say that I am 12, because I can’t take fake IDs seriously.”
I am weirdly jealous of your beeping cat. I have one that sticks her face in my ear at night and purr-sings at me. Like “were you sleeping? Hey. Hey. Are you asleep?”
And yet I still love her fuzzy face. I must have stockholm syndrome.
Ah, to be twelve again! I could play in ball pits without feeling weird and eat massive amounts of chicken nuggets without gaining, well, too much weight. 🙂 Your creepy/adorable cat sounds like she would get along very well with my sonar kitty.
Parent here, speaking for the other parental units. We DEMAND fake names!
Heeheehee. Well, the parents would get fake names, but since they’re already stuck with the anonymity of “Mom” and “Dad”, they’re stuck taking credit for making me…
I nominated your blog for the Shine On Award. I truly enjoy your posts! Read more about the award here
WOW! Thank you so much! I’m super excited – I’m already reading more right now!
Ohhh I feel like we should be friends. Awesome blog!
Done! Now we shall be friends forever. And thank you! 🙂
I am so ridiculously thrilled I came across your blog. Your post-it drawings are fan-flippin-tastic and I lurve your writing. Looking forward to reading more of your hilarious opinions.
Thank you thank you thank you! 🙂 I’m so glad you found my blog, too! Can’t wait to check yours out!
I’m actually curious as to why I have the odd avatar that I have, here at Perpetual Plot Hole. I just joined WordPress.com 5 days ago, and seem to have loaded up TWO separate avatars (one of which is a “gravatar”). I also have the cheapo FREE account (a mistake?).
–5 star Gen. Fury
Tau Ceti Division
Hm. Well, I know my default “no avatar” responder image is set to “monsters” (because, duh). So chances are, my WordPress.com-hosted blog isn’t grabbing your gravatar, and is replacing it with a very charming monster.
I’m clueless about this. My gravatar works on other blogs, and seems to work fine on mine.
My final assumption is: Technology is mad at you for not loving Skynet, and wants you to be stuck with a monster image.
Thanks for the help, Stratafied! Although I’m not at all a fan of Skynet (even though mankind kinda deserves it!), my guess is that the real problem is my blog is set to “R”-rated while you probably set yours to “G” or “M” (or some such) a long time ago and forgot about it. In that case, my “R” avatar for your less restrictive blog gets rejected (even though my avatars are innocuous). If you can “set” the commenters avatars to “monsters” (news to me!) that probably means you have the enhanced $99/year blog.
Hi! I have the honour of awarding you the glorious Versatile Blogger Award, here: http://dmelicertes.com/2014/02/21/the-unrequited-baklava-and-other-stories/ (It’s actually a game, not gold, but you can play if you want to. You may not want to, which is also fine, but I mentioned you in my post for my readers anyway.) : )
The Perfect Example of an About Page. Well, it’s not an example, it’s YOU. Your About page is perfect.
ps. Cue annoying Disney song – – wow, I just realize my post is directly under another Blogger (Dimitris) who just found me recently (and this is NOT the blogger who originally sent me to you, either) (sing) “There’s so much that we share, that it’s time we’re aware . . . ” Well, you know the rest?
HA! It IS such a small world. Also – thank you for the flattery!
Honestly, since I’ve been failing to update by noon for the past two weeks, this page is probably due an update…
I’m so glad you came by and found my blog!
I have nominated you for a Liebster Award. Come check it out! http://lifeonthegoldenrock.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/the-liebster-award/
Thank you! 🙂
Well I came by again, (almost a month later) and this time to rectify the mistake of not following you in the first place. I thought I had?? And additionally, this time I came because of the list “That’s Ron To You” made. Still loving your blog – – and now it will get delivered to my doorstep! Yay!!
Yay! I’m so glad! 🙂 And glad to see you again. Though I confess, I’ve been a very bad blogger lately…something I hope to fix!
Reading your apt inner dialogue and even getting doodles alongside – altogether these posts are adorable and relatable and they make me quite envious! So I’ll follow you 🙂 Happy blogging!
Why thank you! I’m so excited to make a new friend (and one who is so sweet and flattering!). Welcome welcome, and I’m glad you’re here!
I’m glad too, I look forward to reading your posts!
AND THE WINNER IS… YOU!!!!
CONGRATS! I have just nominated you for the prestigious (ok maybe not prestigious but pretty cool) Sunshine Award!!!!!
Get all the details over at my blog! (http://davistodixie.wordpress.com/2014/04/18/sunshineaward/)
I hope you have as much fun with this as I have!
-Cassi (From Davis To Dixie)
I think you are awesome and hope you are feeling well.
Thank you! I am, and I think you are awesome, too!