Life Lesson: Morning People Will Probably Eventually Rule the Whole World

Life Lesson #6,120: Do not get dressed in the dark. Even if it’s only dark because it’s cloudy outside and you’re too lazy to turn on the light.

That is how you discover your shirt is inside out. At work. At 10:00 in the morning. After two meetings. With the C-level executives* in your office.
*CEO. COO. CFO. C-More-Important-Than-I-Will-Ever-Be-O.

I am not a morning person. I have never been a morning person. I was not a bright, chipper small child up with the sun. I was not even a person before noon during my teen years. In my 20s, I continue to bodily drag myself out of bed before the hour of 9:00 in the morning. Maybe by the time I’m 50, I’ll have a healthy relationship with dawn, but right now, we’re mortal enemies.

BAD SUN! SHOO!

Closing the curtains doesn’t even help. I still know it’s there.

But every now and then**, I have to drag myself out of bed on a cloudy, rainy or snowy morning. This is a strange blessing and curse all rolled into one. For one thing, the sun is forced to refrain from taunting me, due to being locked behind the shelter of clouds. But, on the other hand, it’s still blissfully dim and all I want to do is stay in bed. So getting ready becomes even more difficult.
**Sporadically and spontaneously and generally on the most inconvenient days, because I live in the South.

As has been mentioned previously, I work in a proper corporate business office, where I am expected to wear proper corporate business attire. There are skirts and heels and fancy shirts and dressy sweaters and other things I have had to spend a bunch of money on to ensure that I look appropriate and good at my job.

Hurray!

Of course stars and sparkles appear when I successfully get dressed in the morning. Does this not happen for you?

I am successfully good at accomplishing other morning activities (showering, hair brushing, makeup) in a lit bathroom that has bribed me into awareness with promises of hot water. But no amount of wardrobe budget and steamy showers can spare me the horrors that come with getting dressed in the dark.

Grumblemumblebitchwhine

Selecting the proper attire in a dark closet clearly requires a lot of finesse.

I have a tendency to select items at random and fling them out of the closet onto my bed, signifying that they are destined to be part of the day’s outfit. Lots of these items are black, because I am a champion at color-coordinating. After other preparations are complete, I tend to hurl these clothing options onto myself, achieving a successful dressed state.

Grrrrrgrumblemumble

It’s hard to see the stars and sparkles in the dark.

However, some mornings***, I am not quite so successful. Apparently.
***Like THIS morning.

Some mornings, not all of the clothes go on the right way. And without the supervision of the blindingly bright, evil dawn sun, there’s no chance to catch the devious, inside-out shirt until well after I’ve left the apartment.

You know, until after I’ve finished my second meeting of the morning.

I need more coffee for this nonsense

It was not subtly inside out either, guys. There were tags and seams and possibly the opposite side of shirt-decorations visible.

So in other words, guys: Happy Tuesday. I hope your clothes are on the right way.

48 thoughts on “Life Lesson: Morning People Will Probably Eventually Rule the Whole World

  1. I’ve done that. And it was after I had gotten a cool, short haircut. My size was right there for everyone to see, nothing to hide.

  2. OMG! This past fall I had such a big dilemma! As I was walking to work, this girl in front of me had her sweater inside out. Normally, I would point it out, but this specific morning, I didn’t know how to do this tactfully. So i didn’t! IMAGINE?!?! To this day I feel like horrible human being.

    xoxo
    Olena

    • PS… no… I don’t think I have any grammar errors this time lol! I wrote a post on laughter today, and you were/ARE my go to blogger for some smiles 🙂 Hopefully, it’ll bring you even more traffic, so that you’ll be able to cater smiles to EVEN MORE people! ❤

      • Thank you SO much! You are always a source of joy AND good advice for me! I totally love your blog and keep stealing workout tips and tricks from it. You are SO sweet and supportive and I absolutely adore everything about you!

    • Awwww! Don’t feel bad. I’m SURE she found out. Hopefully not in meetings. But probably in meetings 😉

      …Also, I have to confess before guilt eats me alive…I’ve done the same thing! The worst for me is trying to figure out how to tell someone if they have something in their teeth…

  3. I work night shift, so my morning is 4pm lol. Its much easier to get ready for work but much harder to drag myself out of bed in the mornings for appointments, like I had to today lol.

    • I’m not sure if I’m jealous or not…I think I’d be terrible at a shift like that, because I get pretty ridiculous at around 8 at night….I tip my imaginary hat to you, madam!

  4. I once caught the backwards sweater when I removed it in the evening. I blame the scarf that was obscuring the neckline. Thankfully my long hair helped with camouflage.

  5. I have done the same thing more times than I would like to admit. Eventually I may learn to keep my clothes outside of the bedroom. My boyfriend works nights and I work days, so I am always trying to dress in the dark so I do not wake him. I end up with inside out shirts, mismatched socks not to mention tripping over discarded shoes on the floor. Sigh

    • See, now, that’s true love and consideration. I think I would be like “Nope. You can enjoy sleeping on the couch because I cannot accomplish anything in the dark.” ….And then I would end up sleeping on the couch instead.

      I always mean to pick out and organize my outfits the night before, but that makes me feel like a loon, and then in the morning I don’t want to wear the thing past-me picked out…

  6. Ummm… Ever heard of electric lights? 😉

    Anyway, assuming the C-level executives were male, I bet all of them would’ve enjoyed seeing you remove the offending shirt and turn it right-side out. Might’ve even earned you a raise. 😀

  7. Morning people are set to take over the world? Can’t we do something pre-emptive to stop this? They should all be treated like Skynet [see the ‘Terminator’ movies]. I say: Do unto others before they do unto you! 😉

    • I have applied this philosophy to all of the ocean’s squid. They’re obviously planning to someday grow bones and walk on land and eat us all, so we should eat them first.

      But secretly I’m ok with morning people being in charge. Because I can’t be trusted with ANY decisions until it’s after 10 a.m. and I’ve had two cups of coffee.

      We’ll just let them think they’re in charge until we can take everything over after noon, right? 😉

  8. Good plan! Hope it works. As for our enemies, the Squid People…I really don’t trust them. They’re very chewy and hard to digest. Moreover, they’re very sneaky, and sometimes hide themselves under the obscure name of “calamari”… 🙂

    • As well you shouldn’t. They’re devious, and be-tentacled. You can’t trust things with that many limbs. I also apply this logic to all insects and arachnids. Because who knows what they’re doing with those extra arms? They could be flipping us all the bird.

      At least squid are deliciously edible rubber bands. I’m not eating bugs.

  9. I did this one morning – except I wore two different shoes to work (different colored TOMS). All day long. At least they were the same height. That has also happened more than once… and even with heels that are magically the same height.

  10. hahaha! yes!
    And may I add do not get dressed a) in the dark and 2) when you are still so asleep that you forget to put on vital supportive piece of underwear and don’t realise until you are half way to work and have to spend the whole day wearing a jacket / lab coat just in case the evil teenage hoards notice!

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  13. Seriously I love your blogs!! Mostly because you are funny. And also because I can so relate. I have done the shirt thing a time or fifteen. And NOT in the dark. I have also shown up at work with my pants inside out and/or backwards. This is not a lie. (luckily they were just scrub pants). And was told about this, by a patient because OBVI none of my coworkers could stop laughing to tell me themselves. (Thats my story and I am sticking to it) (though they might have been too busy and/or done it themselves and not wanted to make a scene). Luckily, I have never done both on the same day. FYI: if this happens, I will claim it was on purpose. To see how many people were paying attention. (see line about my story…)

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