Or: Why Using the Thing on the Computer that Fixes the other Things on the Computer Is Probably Making Me Dumber
Technology and I have a rocky, one-sided relationship. I need it (for controlling the air conditioner, which saves me from The South, and knowing all of the things Google can tell me. Plus, I used to use it for dating), but it can’t stand me.
When I went to college, I started my studies as a Computer Science major. By my logic, there was no way I could go wrong with something that has “computer” and “science” right in the title. It’ll be amazing*, I thought. It’ll be fun!
What it actually was was a whole lot of math. And calculus.***
***Pure evil, masquerading as advanced math.
So I went on to major in English.
The inner workings of computers became a growing world of continuous, easily breakable mystery.
Thankfully, there is a magic tool designed for people like me, who think computers crash out of spite. It pops up, runs diagnostics, and sometimes fixes the problem entirely – while I do nothing.
It makes me feel like a wizard.
It is possibly the second-most amazing thing that my computer can do.****
****Besides Internet, obviously.
But it has also destroyed my scientific view of technology.
That is why I will probably not be any help with Applooglesoft takes over the world.
It’s ok, though. I already have a plan for that.