Happy Valentines Day, Internet

It’s February 14. That means it’s Valentines Day.* A holiday both adored and reviled by the young and old alike. Some people loathe it, other people ignore it, and some people embrace it.
*I spell it this way on purpose, guys. It’s not Saint Valentine’s Day anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time. It’s a day to celebrate Valentines. Ergo, Valentines Day.  


I clearly put lots of effort into making my Valentine for you. You are _welcome._

I’m one of the embracers, guys. And I’m not ashamed of it. But I don’t embrace it because I think I’m somehow owed flowers and tokens of love today because I just so happen to be female.** I think people lose their minds around this time of year – the same way people lose their minds on Black Friday and spend a whole day trampling each other in stores instead of spending a post-feast day relaxing with their families.
**How is that fair, anyway? How did Valentines Day turn into some affection-test for guys? Who was in charge of that nonsense? Can’t we just relax, people? Why does this aside involve so many questions?

I like to present a front that I have no time for love anymore in my life. I’m an independent woman, after all, single and in my 20s. TV tells me I should be a champion of everything.

'cause the face is busy being bitter...

I’m also a child who grew up in the 90s. I’m super good at “talk to the hand.”

That’s not really the real me, though. I come from a home that has always been full of love. My parents loved me and my brother endlessly, and never skimped on affection. They also love each other – a fact that I’ve never had to question, ever. They’re loving and affectionate and sometimes they even flirt. Frequently, there is cuddling.***
***All of this is, of course, accompanied by obligatory “ew, you made me, stop that, gross, parents” faces from me.****
****You’re welcome, Mom and Dad.

So despite pretending to be a cold-hearted monster without concern for love, what I really am in someone who wants to find the perfect partner. I want, in the longterm, the kind of relationship I see in my parents. Ew-faces aside, I’m a pretty lucky girl to have grown up in a household like that.

This is what REALLY causes heart attacks

Which coincidentally resulted in me actually being a lot more like this.

This has led to some issues along the way. I’m not exactly talented when it comes to picking romantic partners. This tendency has further fostered my posturing as a coldhearted, aloof girl, destined for a future full of cats.

But the point remains: I firmly believe in love. And I believe in Valentines Day. Not because it’s a test of someone’s love for you – and how well they can show it on demand – but because it’s a great time to do something that makes you happy.

Frequently, I am single on Valentines Day. That tendency is actually what drove me to embrace it.

Last year, with the help of a fellow single friend – who we shall call The Hero of the South (THotS, which is pronounced “Thhhhh-oates” as of this very moment) – Valentines Day was celebrated with style. We dressed up. We high-fived. We got drinks.

I am so giving today

Hi THotS. You know who you are. And you know you were never going to get a vote in your blog-name. _You’re welcome._

Most importantly, we went out for ribs.

Ribs. RIBS. Delicious ribs.

That lady is a waitress. I think she was scared of us.

Most people can’t bring themselves to go out for ribs on a romantic holiday, because…well…it is not attractive to eat ribs. They were delicious.

Other single Valentines Days have been celebrated with fellow single friends and movie nights – not in self-pity because we’re single, but because we’re at the same stage of life. Sometimes it’s refreshing to be surrounded by people who are sharing your current life goals, problems and, well, lack of couple-related responsibilities.

Before my pride was so barren of single friends

There is always popcorn. It is a rule.

This year, I have a date. I’m celebrating Valentines Day romantically, it’s true.


Guess what we’re doing? Go on. Guess.

But no matter what, it’s still kind of an awesome holiday, if you let it be. Couples get to be coupley. Single people can throw parties. Married people can set aside some time to go out on a real date.

If we all just stop being bitter and thinking this holiday is all about showing off.

So, Happy Valentines Day, Internet. I’m really glad we’re in each other’s lives.

Totally true

Because ours is a truly true love.

29 thoughts on “Happy Valentines Day, Internet

  1. Who says devouring the smoked ribcage of sweet sweet Sus Scrofa Domesticus isn’t attractive? It’s powerful, and primal. What’s not attractive about that?

    • You’re getting really technical here.

      And you were there. You know EXACTLY why that wasn’t attractive. Paper towels were involved. Desiccated bones were left behind. It looked like a WAR.


  2. But…but… I wanted to get whiney about the day. What do I do know? What would the Grinch do? Meh. It’s weird anyways. I never used to care about the day, single or not (mostly single though), especially as the day used to mean zilch to Germans. This has changed. Germans now celebrate (read: consume) the shit out of this day and I entered my 30. Suddenly, there is pressure. And damn, I don’t even have cats to become a cat lady. I don’t even have breasts to become a lady. Dang, I have the whole grumpy-single-thing clearly not under control.

    • Stupid mobile phone. Damn you auto-correct. How am I going to attract dem nakid women when they think I can’t differentiate between now and know? 😡

      • 1) dem nakid women never check spelling, so you’re safe so long as that’s your target market. But dem nakid women, I hear, also prefer warmer climates, so you may have to give up being my loyal German-readership contingent (DON’T DO IT! I’LL NEVER GET THAT PART OF MY READER-MAP BACK).
        2) You can be whiny about today, but only if no one gives you chocolate, and right now I am giving you imaginary chocolate through the Internet and my mind powers, so I guess you can’t be.
        3) YAY! Germany is all consumeristic, too! PINK HEARTS FOR EVERYONE. And more chocolate. Wait – do you guys celebrate with beer instead of chocolate? Because I will move there RIGHT. NOW.
        4) Breasts are a requisite for acquiring cats and becoming a crazy cat lady. You can become a crazy cat man. Or dog man. You have options. Don’t feel limited.

        Happy Valentines Day, Dan. 🙂

      • STUPID MOBILE I WASN’T FINISHED! Well…. honestly, Germans kind of celebrate EVERYTHING with beer. Happy Stupid-Cupid-Day to you too.

  3. I like your thoughts around Valentines. I used to be a bitter single loathing the day but then I thought: why the heck shouldn’t I celebrate it too? After all, I love my friends. I could do something special with/for them. There is a lot of love and happiness to be celebrated this day, not just for couples. And just like you, I find the idea of the attention all on the woman kinda weird. It really is like a test for straight guys: how much do they love their woman? I don’t get it. I don’t think that love is defined by how well you stick to the “rules” for a day like this. However, you could still do something nice together. If you want to. And it really doesn’t have to be the man’s responsibility to make this day special. It could be the woman’s. It could also be one of the people in a gay couple, or in a polygamous relationship- people focus way too much on straight couples when it comes to this.

    Now that I’m not single anymore, I actually didn’t celebrate Valentines. I did with one of my exe’s but this year, with my current boyfriend- no. And I’m not sad about it but some people (well, some women) seem to think it’s weird that he didn’t express his appreciation for me and that I should have given him “hints” before the day, for what gifts I wanted and places he could take me out to for a romantic dinner. Well, we went to Tenerife. Not as a Valentine’s thing but I think the fact he paid my trip is pretty effin’ sweet and kind of him. He’s not a bad boyfriend just because he didn’t buy me flowers on Valentines. We normally do a lot of romantic stuff but we just didn’t feel like doing it this Valentines. No need for people to make such a fuss about it.

    So, how did your date go? Did you like the Lego movie?

    • I completely commiserate – and I totally applaud the fact that you and your boyfriend spent the day doing exactly what makes the two of you happy. I think that’s a sign of being serious about each other, and having a healthy amount of good communication.

      My date went awesome. AWESOME. There was Cuban food. There were Legos. There was dressing up and lots of laughs and the perfect combination of all things that make spending time together great.

      Thanks for asking 🙂

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