Nothing Says “All American Fashion” Better than…

Fanny packs.

I have solved your last minute Christmas shopping.

This is the way I remember these highly fashionable, practical devices.
Click for source, which you can’t buy anymore. But don’t worry. THERE ARE MORE ON SALE.

Let’s face it. The convenient tiny waistpack (that makes either your stomach or your lower back look like it’s grown a camel hump) is pretty much an American staple.*

*Have you figured out yet that I know absolutely nothing about fashion?

Now, you may have thought that fanny packs were simply the butt of 90s related jokes. You may have thought that they were a terrible time in clothes-wearing history that we, as proper countrymen, would all agree was better left behind us.

Well, you’re wrong.

People are trying** to bring them back.

**Succeeding. If you can call making fanny packs popular “success.”

Apparently.

Apparently Rhianna is to blame.
Click for source.

And Etsy, home of all things ahead of the fashionable curve, is totally behind this.

RUFFLES!

The ruffles add a lady-like appeal that ruins the once multi-gender fanny pack fun.
Click for source, and to buy your own, which you totally should.

But best of all, there’s a Kickstarter. We all know how I love prowling around Kickstarter.

It's like a hug - for your HIPS

Guys. GUYS. It comes in paisley. This is the wave of the FUTURE! Also, this is not a video. It’s just a picture. The play button is a lie.
But if you click it, you can visit the source, and help fund this project. (DO IT.)

This one is my favorite. In part because, well, it’s next to impossible to make a fanny pack subtle. But this Kickstarter totally succeeds. And also, because there’s totally a BONUS THING TO WEAR.

FOR YOUR WRIST

Meet “The Gnome.” But I call it “The Wristpack.”
Guys, it’s a fanny pack FOR YOUR WRIST.
Click for source and wise investment.

Basically, the lesson here is:

The Internet will never let the 90s die.***

***And we’re all very grateful for that. Right, guys? Right?

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