Yesterday, I Told an Untruth

I was all “Normal blogging will return on Friday.” But apparently I didn’t mean it. Because today I slept in* and heartlessly ignored you, the Internet, until this very moment.

*VACATION, y’all!

Boy Scouts are WAY more prepared than I am. Probably Girl Scouts are, too.

It’s not my fault. I’ve been reading the Cracked DeTextbook and finding out how I’m wrong about everything. Oh, and I got a new phone.

Bad, Bad Apple

It’s GOLD, guys! GOLD.
Apple is enabling my American materialism.
Bad Apple.

The above glorious example of technological glory is why I’ve completely ignored you Internet. I’m sorry.**

**Not really. I haven’t had a new phone in years and years and years and I love it as much as kittens.***
***Just kidding. kittens. I love you best.

So, basically, I’ve been dedicating myself to expensive toys and present forts and that is VERY distracting, but eventually I will return to you, Internet. I could never forget you.

This is why I took a Thanksgiving hiatus.