I was all “Normal blogging will return on Friday.” But apparently I didn’t mean it. Because today I slept in* and heartlessly ignored you, the Internet, until this very moment.

*VACATION, y’all!

Boy Scouts are WAY more prepared than I am. Probably Girl Scouts are, too.

It’s not my fault. I’ve been reading the Cracked DeTextbook and finding out how I’m wrong about everything. Oh, and I got a new phone.

It’s GOLD, guys! GOLD.
Apple is enabling my American materialism.
Bad Apple.

The above glorious example of technological glory is why I’ve completely ignored you Internet. I’m sorry.**

**Not really. I haven’t had a new phone in years and years and years and I love it as much as kittens.***
***Just kidding. kittens. I love you best.

So, basically, I’ve been dedicating myself to expensive toys and present forts and that is VERY distracting, but eventually I will return to you, Internet. I could never forget you.

This is why I took a Thanksgiving hiatus.