Inflation Is Even More Ridiculous Than You Think It Is

Hey, you know these cookies? These classic, joyous little sugar treats? These festive reminders that the holidays are a celebration of calories?

More delicious pictures

These cookies are a lie. Spritz cookies never come out that vividly red or green. Don’t trust these cookies. They are for example only.
Click for source.

When I was a kid, we used to make them with the coolest cookie-making toy: The Super Shooter.

I miss this

Ours looked exactly like this. Except with more child-sized hand prints in red and green food coloring decorating the outside of the box..

Click for source. Or to buy me one.

It’s a magical cookie gun, guys. Unlike the super lame cookie presses of today, the Super Shooter was electric. You were leashed to the wall by a cord, demanding a certain level of cookie-making coordination that shaped my youth. It happily buzzed when you pulled the trigger, pushing cookie dough neatly* out onto the cookie sheet.

*Or everywhere. When a 7 year old is in charge, it pushes cookie dough EVERYWHERE onto the cookie sheet.**
**And the table. And the floor. And the wall. Ah, youth.***
***It’s possibly my spritz cookies came out as circles with Christmas-tree-shaped dents. Maybe. Shut up. Extra cookie is always delicious.

Because the ‘70s were all about convenience. Apparently. Anyway, this is my most favorite cookie device in the whole world. And while I’m sure it wasn’t free when it was originally sold, I’d like to make you aware of what Amazon thinks it costs:

Seriously?

Ignore everything that looks like a reasonable price. Someone thinks it’s worth $300.

The cost of convenience is going up, guys. I’m really worried.

In other news, the ridiculous-ness and late posting hour of this blog post are brought to you by the fact that I was very busy and important last night****. And in the interim, Russia found my blog.

****Harassing a friend who had to go to the hospital. Same thing, right?

Yay! Communism!

HI RUSSIA!

This has taught me two things:

  1. The media has convinced me that I should always be afraid that Russia is totally going to hack me and steal all my…Internet points? I dunno. I don’t get money through this site. Please don’t steal my Internet points.
  2. Russia is SO BIG.

I’ll be over here drinking coffee until I explode. Happy Tuesday, y’all.

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