I’m very sorry, y’all.

I know. You’re all very sad about this. I feel just _awful_.*

*Actually what I feel is very, very well rested.

So, instead of a normal blog post, today I bring you my favorite thing I’ve said all week, in eCard form, and all the cool things I’ve found on the Internet while I should have been writing blog posts.

This week in conversation:

I really talk like this, y’all. It’s pretty awful to know me.

Meanwhile, on the Internet:

You have more body parts than you thought you did.  Seriously, doctors? Where have you been? 

My friend Andy skipped a blogging day and I am telling everyone I know about it. Way to go, Andy.

The entire Internet is obsessed with Siracha Candy Canes.

• No, Really.
  • I mean it.
    • And you can buy them here.
      • And here.

Do not buy these for me.

Science hates teddy bears and they proved it with a cloaking device.

Speaking of toys, here are some really, really disturbing ones. Honestly? Who lets these people around other people? Some people should not be allowed to invent things.

We forgive science for hating teddy bears, because they also agree I’m right about Daylight Savings Time being evil, and Standard Time being awesome. And healthy.

Also, there’s a new T-Rex. SERIOUSLY you guys! They found more dinosaurs!!!!!!

And ultimately, this can lead everyone to the conclusion that I love Time’s Newsfeed. Happy Friday, everyone.