Cold Medicine Is a Tricksy Mistress

Or: I Was Going to Write about More Tragic Tales of Failed Romance, but then THIS Happened

It’s no secret – I’m sick this week. I got laid low by what I like to call “horrible death cold” somewhere around Saturday night, and now, by Wednesday, I like to think I’m all better.

SO MUCH BETTER

Woo!

But I’m not.

Uh oh

Huh?

It’s a lie. It’s cold medicine.

Yup. Not really better at all

Oh Dammit.

I woke up this morning feeling spectacular.

Woooo!

It feels really spectacular to breathe after four days of being unable to breathe.

I almost acted like a morning person. I showered and brushed my teeth and flitted around without even the help of coffee. Because I had AIR. Air was my new best friend. It gave me super powers. It made me feel like I was fueled on sunshine and happiness.*
*Which isn’t really helpful today, since the Queen City is preparing for a snowpocalypse today. There’s no sunshine to be had.

Wuv. Twue wuv.

It’s a true love. And unbreakable love. A love that lasts until death.

In my bliss, I completely forgot exactly how much cold medicine I’d layered on myself last night. Specifically, I forgot the sweet blessing of 12-hour Afrin.** Which I used last night, specifically because I was completely unable to breathe at all, and without breathing, there would be no sleep.
**Which is the divine gift to sick people.

Product placement!

Can you hear the angels singing? It’s really evil malicious laughter.

I know this, because now that I am at work, officially far away from life-saving congestion-fighters and medicine of any kind, I cannot breathe at all and am once again convinced I am so sick I may die.

Wheeze wheeze wheeze

Must…breathe…ack…

Not funny, medicine. Not funny at all.

 

Side note: The product placement in this post didn’t benefit me in any way at all. I’m just being honest about the medicine that conned me into thinking I was well just long enough for me to go to work.

19 thoughts on “Cold Medicine Is a Tricksy Mistress

  1. Poor little thing! I honestly hope you get well soon Cait! However, I must admit, despite your inability to breeze, I laughed through the entire post! *Fine, I do feel bad about laughing at your misfortune!!!* And those skipping pictures reminded me of my puppy who is happy go lucky at all times 😀

    xoxo
    Olena

    • 🙂 Don’t feel bad even slightly – because I am totally laughing at myself the ENTIRE TIME. I have to share my silliness with everyone – and I’m SO happy when it makes you giggle…And I totally skip like that in real life. I’m only slightly ashamed to admit that in a public forum 🙂

      And I’m a THOUSAND times better today! Thanks for the well-wishes! ❤

  2. Afrin is cold crack. And it’s oh so amazing! Until it lets me down, and then it’s the evil incarnate until I can find where ever it was I left it in my last cold-induced stupor and breathe sweet relief from both sides of my nose again.

    • I’ve truly bought a ridiculous number of Afrin bottles because every time I get sick, I lose them and want to die. Trying to find them is merciless, evil torture. 🙂

      Isn’t breathing the best?!

    • Oh man. I am SO glad I’m not the only one who does this. I completely delude myself into thinking I’m 100% healthy…and then that 12 hour timeline runs out…

      I’m glad to share a giggle 🙂 And I love your blog!

    • I completely concur. If I can’t have my own little version of the pharmacy in arm’s reach, how am i supposed to get anything done during flu season?!

      Wine: It’s practically fruit juice, and everyone knows juice is DEFINITELY good for you. Grapes have antioxidants and stuff. It’s just juice that makes you feel better RIGHT AWAY 😉

  3. The first line on my mobile version read “It’s no secret – I’m sick this week. I got laid” and I was hopeful to get a post about flowing body fluids. Well, you didn’t disappoint. 😉 Get well soon.

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