I Am Not Even a Little Bit Country

No matter what y’all think.

Today’s Blog Post Is Brought to You By How Late I Was Stuck at Work on Tuesday

A few years ago, my brother was living in Texas with his family.

Texas was never my favorite state. I don’t listen to country music. I don’t drive a big truck. I don’t know how to line dance. I have exactly zero understanding of how cattle are herded.*
*But I am super good at making sweeping, inaccurate assumptions about things people like in Texas.

But I really wanted to go visit. And so I went. And you know what?

I found something I really, truly love.

MAH BOOTS

They do, in fact, look this stylish in real life.

Forget glass slippers. Cinderella was clearly clueless about footwear. Cowboy boots are the most magical shoes. For one thing, they let you swagger with every step. For another, you automatically pose like a gunslinger when wearing them – even in normal, everyday, non-gun-slinging situations!**
**Which is every day of my life, because I am the worst at being southern and don’t own a gun. All southern friends are responsible for my survival in a zombie apocalypse. Hi friends!

Yee haw!

Ahem. Yee-haw?

For another thing, they are more comfortable than slippers.

Mmm...comfy

Bye bye bunnies…Oh come on guys. They’re slippers. Don’t call PETA.

But best of all, I can wear them to work under my fancy pants, and no one knows but me.

Ok, maybe i should rephrase that

And that’s all a girl ever wants. Secret boots. And fancy pants.

8 thoughts on “I Am Not Even a Little Bit Country

  1. I am so jealous! I have always wanted cowboy boots, even though, I, too, have never been to Texas despite speaking as if I am the leading expert on all things Texans do and think.

    Every time I see Carrie Underwood rocking boots with a cute little sundress I swoon with envy…

    • 1) You now need a pair of cowboy boots. It’s not a want. It’s a need. Just remember that when prioritizing things like “food” and “shelter,” They are less important than the best boots.
      2) I’m truly glad I’m not the only non-Texan expert on Texas.
      3) I also recommend cowboy hats. They confuse people and prevent skin cancer!

  2. I am having so much fun reading over here.
    My sister lived in Texas for a while and when I went to help her move I came home with a zebra-stripped cowboy hat. It’s still my favorite headwear, even over a decade later.

    • YES! I am so glad! And thanks for coming by to read – it makes my day if anyone gets a giggle out of it.

      I am so, so, so so SO jealous of your zebra-striped cowboy hat. I have a black one that has lived through many trips to places where cowboy hats are not at all normal headwear. I think zebra stripes would make it even better 🙂

  3. This is fantastic! I would say I’m a Texas expert that’s actually from Texas, and I agree that boots are the best Texan-y thing that everyone can unite on. I didn’t discover this until about a year ago, which is crazy, considering I grew up in a small town, my sister listens almost exclusively to country music, I learned to drive in my dad’s big truck, I know at least three country line dances, and my family owns cattle, so apparently, I’m about as Texan as you get. (Someone’s bound to fulfill those assumptions, right?)

    By the way, your posts are ridiculously entertaining!

    • Thank you SO much!

      And I’m so glad that this has the endorsement of a proper Texan. A teeny part of me feels like an impostor stomping around in cowboy boots…but then I realize that I’m so comfy and happy I don’t care about probably being a fake.

      You win at Texas, and you are now my all-things-Texan consultant 🙂

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