But nothing makes me quite as happy as all the ridiculous things that WordPress tells me about my blog.
My favorite search terms people have used to find my blog:
Sorry guys, but clearly I win the Internet.
I am 100% sure my blog is NOT what they were looking for.
- what happened to regretsy
Now you know. You’re welcome.
- themes for 14 graduates
I…don’t think I have ever truly addressed this concern.
- things to make out of pop cans
Oh oh oh! I can help with this! Pinterest is here for you!
- eat concern
I can play this game too. “Sleep anger.” “Drink apathy.”
- safe hobbies
This is not the right blog for you. I am sorry Google betrayed you.
- a meeting should never be longer than
Ok. This one I totally covered.
- how to kill spider eggs on christmas tree
If I knew that, my parents would still be getting live Christmas trees. Sorry to clearly lie to you, Internet.
- gattafish username online dating sites
Hey! Someone found me trying to stalk their date! Way to use the Internet!
- badly written letterto santa
Yep. Got this covered in every way.
- dating in your 20s
It’s awful, right?
- girl gushers
NOPE. This is clearly not the blog you were looking for.
- sweet on zoosk
Am not. You take that back.
- white blonde hair
Finally. My alabaster hair is good for something.
- dmv social experiment
Ok, to be fair, I Googled this too after I saw this. Because I want to know if it’s all just an experiment, too.
- spider eggs on a christmas tree
I have cornered this topic on the Internet! WOO!
Countries I have collected:
Man I love Canada so much.
THE UK! (Guys. GUYS! It could be THE QUEEN.)
Seriously. I may not have mentioned how much I love Canada.
Awww. Why no love Canada?
Oh hi Canada!
It’s so big I almost forget how much I miss Canada.
BAHRAIN (totally a real place!)
Knowing that Canada had already shown me love, I was free to Google where, exactly, Bahrain is. It’s in this circle. Somewhere.
FINLAND (Also a real place, for those of you who studied geography in the US!)
Guys! Finland and Canada TOGETHER! ❤
OMG I LOVE CANADA
Oh. Hey Canada. I didn’t even know you’d be here.
Oh, right, and the place where I live:
And Canada! ❤
So these are the reasons* that I love my blog. Don’t you feel like you just got backstage passes or something? You are welcome.
(Thank you guys for reading my blog. It blows my mind that anyone would bother to check it out, especially people in other countries, and people who don’t know me**. Most of all, I do want to thank the people who know me and read this, because, well, you already have me inflicted on you.)
**Aren’t literally bombarded with my pleas to read this.
Ok. Now that I posted what I actually wanted to write about today (which was obviously pie), I’m probably obligated to write the “hi world!” post that explains what I’m doing on the Internet.
(Well, probably not what I’m doing on the Internet. We’re all doing the same thing on the Internet. Looking at food on Pinterest and stalking our friends on Facebook. Ok, and a few other things, but we’re not talking about that right now.)
What right do I have to call my very first (ok, second) blog post “The Horrors of Blogging”? Who is this nobody pretending to know things about the sweet online poetry that is blog writing?! Well, that’s easy. This is my own personal blog – and I just started it, that’s true – but I do this for a living. I’m a marketer (stop judging! Stoppit right now!), and since I’m in my 20s, I do a lot with social media. Including writing tons and tons of blog posts that I will never link to, because that’s work, and this is me.
But really all the horrors started when I decided I wanted my own blog.
I’ve gotten to work on a lot of created blogs – someone else has built the back-end coding, and embedded all the cool tracking toys and the SEO kits, and made it look all pretty already. Then I write and tag and share and spread the word…without having to decide what background to choose, or every layout detail, or what hosting provider to choose. Honestly, that stuff makes my head hurt.
So my patience ran out, my impulsiveness kicked in, and now I have a blog. The look will get more love later. This blog isn’t full of useful knowledge, and probably never will be. It’s my corner of the Internet where I – a 20-something Bay Area girl who now lives in North Carolina – intend to share all the things that live in my brain. Or at least some of them. I don’t want to scar y’all for life. (Lookit how Southern I am!)