Or: I’m Pretty Perplexed by My Dogs^
^Bear with me on this one, guys. It’s a long one.
So I think it’s pretty clear that my default setting is “Cat Person,”^
^Further proof can be found here and here and here.
This doesn’t mean I don’t like dogs, or that I’m not a dog person. It means that when it came time for my to harass my parents for a pet as a child, I was prioritizing cats.
My husband, on the other hand, is a default Dog Person. So when we moved in together, this happened:
I pretty much instantly fell in love with the dogs. Like, snuggly, fluffy, cuddly love. Sometimes, though, dogs make my life very mystifying. Allow me to explain:
About a month ago, I came home from work.^^
^^This is normal. Sometimes I actually DO go into the office, and then I have to come home afterwards, or my employers would be charged with kidnapping.
But something was amiss.
There was…a smell. It was a smell unlike any other smell I had ever smelled in my house. It was a smell with personality. It was insidious and pervasive – somehow, it was everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.
I did eventually find the source.
The smell floated around our dogs like an odoriferous aura. It didn’t seem to come directly off of the dogs, but rather wafted from their surroundings. So I did what any rational person would do – I washed them.^^^
^^^With help. From the person in the house who is actually good at washing dogs.
And everything was great.
For about half a day. And then the smell started to return to our house.
We tried everything from baking soda and carpet cleaning to dry dog shampoo. Nothing banished the smell. It would leave for a day, maybe two, but then it would slowly start to seep back into our home. It lingered around our dogs like an aura. And that’s how I figured out what’s going on.
Our dogs are being haunted by a stinky ghost, and now it’s stuck in our house.
Let me explain.
Our dogs are explorers. They love to play with other dogs, and run around the yard a million billion times. They love to lay in the grass and try to eat bugs.^^^^
^^^^And sometimes turtles and snakes, but they aren’t very good at that, so don’t worry.
They love to sniff out new smells and make new friends.
Clearly, my dogs have made friends with a wild stinky ghost.^^^^^
^^^^^This is not a type of Pokemon. Do not try to catch it while playing Pokemon Go.
And they brought it home.
And now it lives with us.
It may never leave.
This is the only reasonable explanation for the new smell my dogs have introduced to the household. My cats, on the other hand, continue to simply smell of cat and carefully coat our entire house in fur.
Dogs are so unpredictable.