Public Service Announcement #46

Beware The Manic Pixie Dream Guy (MPDG)

Back in 2007, the AV Club taught me a new term: Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl: (Maaa-nick pick-see dre-yam gah-url)

The the wide-eyed hipster butterfly that Zooey Deschanel has come to embody after films like (500) Days of Summer. Also see Natalie Portman in Garden State.

Ladies and gentlemen, it does exist – and it’s not just for guys.

It’s also for girls and guys-who-like-guys.

The male MPDG – “Manic Pixie Dream Guy” – is an under-explained phenomenon that’s growing. It is the safe haven stereotype for the metrosexuals from the days of yore*.

*Also known as the 90s.

For one thing, their mustaches might actually be attached to their faces.

Tragically, MPD-Guys are not this obvious. *

This creature finds his home among hipsters, frequenting unusual places while wearing tight t-shirts and scarves. MPD-Guys tend to be tall and slender, with ready smiles and a tendency to take pictures of absolutely EVERYTHING (Think that guy who filmed plastic bags floating in American Beauty.)

They also like hats.

Now, these men are charming. They’re fun and unusual. They have an unique way of looking at the world (it comes with eyes that big, just like with Manic Pixie Dream Girls) that will fascinate your brain. They keep you on your toes with their antics and whims. They’re nothing at all like the men you thought you’d be attracted to (I mean, c’mon. The wear scarves. And hats. And skinny jeans.) And they will seem to love you whole-heartedly and with abandon.

You know, for like, a couple weeks.

Because the danger is this. MPDGs – male or female – are totally bananas.

Brazilian Wandering Spiders are EVIL

Horrifying spider monsters _totally_ included. Trust me.
*The Weekly World News is responsible for this picture. Thanks WWN!

(Sidenote: Look! More things about bananas!)

Men-who-like-women have been warned for years. Now, ladies and gentlemen-who-like-gentlemen, you have also been warned.

Bananas are contagious. Save yourself.

*My apologies to Ms. Deschanel, who is totally pretty and also hilarious and amazing. And according to all my male friends, totally dreamy.

P.S. – Someone from Finland Found my Blog and I love them.

This makes me happier than it should

Finland and Canada, together at last!
We’re all doomed.