Long ago in the days of yore, there used to be two newspaper releases in a day – one in the morning and one in the evening.* And while I’m much too far behind to have managed a double-release blog day, I figure the world could probably use an exotic evening post from me.**

*We will not mention the fact that I probably learned this from a movie, and not from history or real research of any kind. But anyway, now it’s on the Internet, so it’s DEFINITELY TRUE.
**I slept until 11 and then went to a diner to eat pancakes until I couldn’t move. Lets pretend I did that so I could try out posting in the evening hours. 

And while we’re trying out this very different time for a blog post, let’s also try out a “heartfelt and moving post about love and family and apples not falling far from the tree.”

Meaning, I am exactly like my parents. I know this. I have just spent more than a week at their house, enjoying quality time***, familial bonding****, and holiday warmth and laughter.***** This has really nailed home the fact that I am EXACTLY what happens if you mix my father’s sarcasm with my mother’s sense of humor.******

***Free food.
****More free food.
*****Along with free food.
******And added a lot of sugar and probably a unicorn.

Oh, you don’t believe me?

My mother and I passed notes all through our diner brunch.

Point 1: Yes, I do call my mom “Mommy.”
Point 2: Yes, I am a grown woman.
Point 3: You’re welcome for the product placement, Belk and Ulta. I accept monetary rewards and also tiaras.

And wait! There’s MORE! See that little arrow up there? It means we also wrote ALL OVER THE BACK OF THE PAGE.

Allow me to explain:
1) I have spent a lot of this vacation playing murdery video games with my Dad.
2) I have also spent a lot of this vacation cuddling my cat, but I think it’s cooler if she can fly. And she probably can. She’s cool like that.
3) I TOLD you I had a present fort.

My father was greatly amused.*******

*******Ignored us completely, which only encouraged our note passing.

So, basically, if anyone was wondering why I am the way I am: Here is your explanation. You are welcome. I’m happy to help solve the mysteries of the Internet.

Also, I refuse to blog like a normal responsible grown up until after the New Year. Because it would interfere with my irresponsible nap time. But tomorrow I’m probably going to gossip about the South. So you should probably not give up on my blog just yet.