Things That People Eat Concern Me

Let’s talk for a minute. Really talk. About a serious subject.

Today’s subject is the ingredient “veal cheek.”  These days, I’m finding it in all sorts of dishes in the Queen City.

Veal cheek: (vee-el che-eek)

A cut of veal derived from the face of a baby cow.

(Definition courtesy of me.)

Translation? Baby. Cow. Face.

Now, maybe there’s an excess of baby cow faces out there, or maybe this is some sort of effort to use more of the animals people eat and be less wasteful. I’m all about being more efficient and everything, but seriously.

It’s face.

This photo (sans labels) is courtesy of a blog that likes eating veal - Gratuity Not Included.

This photo (sans labels) is courtesy of a blog that likes eating veal – Gratuity Not Included.

In fairness, I’m generally against veal. I think grown cow tastes better and got to live an unchained life, hanging out with all the other happy cows I get to see in those California cheese commercials (because that’s how I learn about agriculture. Happy cow commercials.) Veal, on the other hand, remains barbaric in my mind. (Lots of people have argued about this with me, over what constitutes “veal”, as well as the term “humane,” but feel free to chime in in the comments if you feel strongly about consuming baby cow.)

So can we go back to the days of sneaking cow tongue into things? Because, well, I’d rather eat tongue than face. At least this way, I can pretend it’s tasting me while I taste it. And that’s only fair.

Or, better yet, more steak for all.

I Think Today Should be Apple Pie Monday

Honestly. It should be a national holiday. In your face, Donut Day.

(Just kidding, Donut Day. You know I love you. You’re a totally fantastic and real holiday, and not at all something made up to promote pastry sales.)

Now, I know no one out there is silly enough to ask why, but I feel like I should justify this foray into morbid obesity.

  1. Apples are in season, so they’re extra delicious
  2. Pie
  3. Apples are a fruit, and fruit is good for you, so how bad can apple pie be, really?
  4. Pie
  5. Apple Pie Monday gives me an excuse to use all those commas that I just used in point 3.
  6. Pie
  7. Pie for breakfast makes Monday better. Don’t even try to deny it.

Unofficial point 8: Also Pie.

In completely unrelated news, does anyone happen to have any apple pie they’d like to share?