https://perpetualplothole.com/2018/09/15/poweroutages/2018-09-17T15:54:58+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2018/05/01/livespiders/2019-09-26T18:51:36+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2016/09/02/stinkyghost/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/img_5751.jpgIMG_5751https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/img_1543.jpgIMG_1543https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/stinky-ghost-meets-dog.jpgStinky Ghost Meets Doghttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/stinky-ghost-haunts-couch.jpgStinky Ghost Haunts Couchhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/stinky-ghost-forever.jpgStinky Ghost Foreverhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/stinky-ghost-and-dog-are-friends.jpgStinky Ghost and Dog are Friendshttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/stinky-ghost.jpgStinky Ghosthttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/still-stinky.jpgStill Stinkyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/scrub-the-dogs.jpgScrub the Dogshttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/nothing-works.jpgNothing Works2016-09-02T13:09:29+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2016/08/31/stickfiguresarehard/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/what-is-happening.jpgWhat is happeninghttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/tah-dah.jpgTah Dahhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/tablet-drawing-2.jpgTablet Drawing 2https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/tablet-drawing-1.jpgTablet Drawing 1https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/supposed-to-be-me.jpgSupposed to be mehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/are-you-ok.jpgAre you OK2016-09-01T13:01:16+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2016/08/29/teamworkchallenges/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/projects-at-5.jpgProjects at 5https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/projects-at-15.jpgProjects at 15https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/arguments-at-21.jpgArguments at 21https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/arguments-at-31.jpgArguments at 31https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/arguments-at-11.jpgArguments at 112016-08-26T12:27:47+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2016/08/24/ive-been-a-little-bit-of-a-procrastinator/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/img_7889.jpgIMG_7889https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/img_7888.jpgIMG_7888https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/img_7887.jpgIMG_7887https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/img_7886.jpgIMG_7886https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/img_7885.jpgIMG_7885Seriously. It's been like, two years. TWO.2016-08-29T12:16:17+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2016/08/26/lifelesson10143/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/the-fastest-internet.jpgThe Fastest Internethttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/why-oh-why.jpgWhy oh Whyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/slow-internet.jpgSlow Internethttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/slightly-mad-at-phone.jpgSlightly mad at Phonehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/politestest-mad.jpgPolitestest Madhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/righteous-rage.jpgRighteous Ragehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/polite-mad.jpgPolite Madhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/hard-at-work.jpgHard at Workhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/angry-internet.jpgAngry Internethttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/angry-at-phone.jpgANGRY AT PHONE2017-02-08T12:45:36+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2015/02/03/i-watched-every-minute-of-sunday-sportsball/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/katy-perry-442708f9cfd4e0d1.jpgkaty-perry-442708f9cfd4e0d1This image is courtesy of mlive.com - Click to read just one of the many fabulous stories on the sharks. Specifically, Left Shark, hero of the Internet.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-9-e1422985770418.jpgWINNERI hope this person received a massive trophy from his or her workplace.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-8-e1422985757857.jpgShark 8Yes, the Internet has Favorite Things. The Internet is just as cool and popular as Oprah, guys, https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-7-e1422985743589.jpgThe MagicThe sharks eclipsed everyone, let's be honest. No one saw Katy Perry. No one saw the girls in bikinis. The dancing trees are hardly worth mentioning, and the singing beachballs were basically just backup for the sharks.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-6-e1422985729859.jpgNot drawing SportsLots of them, I'm sure. I was watching the commercials.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-5-e1422985715702.jpgShark 5After winning an argument, while crafting your creative masterpiece, it's important to listen to songs verifying that you are, in fact, doin' it your way.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-4-e1422985700830.jpgBudgets for sharksSuch as "you guys blew the budget for REAL sharks on building a shiny rolling lion."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-3-e1422985685213.jpgSad shark momentCreative genius can involve moments of harsh criticism. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-2-e1422985668939.jpgPresenting SharksWhen one presents an idea to one's peers and supervisors, one is always about three times their size. Proportionality between humans varies based on situations, and has nothing to do with how much space was left on my doodle-post-it during this drawing.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/shark-1-e1422985650298.jpgCreating Sharks from ScratchIn this blog dramatization of a story I made up in my head, the role of "shark creator" will be played by my doodle.2015-02-03T19:47:44+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/08/21/stockholm/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/stockholm-syndrome.jpgSwedish Chef MuppetBork bork bork! Hergy Blerghy Bork! Click for source, because this is not a picture I took.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5243-e1408653042401.jpgSnuggle catShe totally is. Especially if food is involved.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5242-e1408653035109.jpgThis si trueAnything is possible. Except spontaneous flight.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5239-e1408653027352.jpgNot funny, SwedenIt's also given Stockholm a bad name, via association. Poor Stockholm.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5237-e1408653020109.jpgGimme the gunBecause yelling at someone with a gun is totally safe....if you're a stick figure that I draw.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5236-e1408653012843.jpgFurther explanation of stockholm syndromNot all gunmen are so explanatory.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5234-e1408653005541.jpgStockholm Syndrome is weirdIn fact, it seems downright counter-intuitivehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5233-e1408652997860.jpgExplaining stockholm syndromIf only all kidnappers, hostage takers, and generally terrible people were all this forthcoming.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5232-e1408652989680.jpgStockholm Example 1This is probably the most dangerous doodle I have ever drawn.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5231-e1408652979868.jpgIMG_52312015-02-03T17:14:36+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/08/19/moving/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5202-e1408478442511.jpgMeeting BoyfriendThis is an accurate illustration of how we met. Except possibly pizza and bowling were involved. Possibly.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5214-e1408478451332.jpgLove Boyfriend<3https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5213-e1408478458524.jpgSeriously DoodleSeriously.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5212-e1408478470676.jpgReasons not to let your boyfriend's family help you movePANIC!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5211-e1408478478471.jpgWait, whatYou heard me, Doodle.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5209-e1408478487761.jpgAll of the things are mineThe "ALL THE THINGS" meme is the brainchild of Allie Brosh over at Hyperbole and a Half. Click to discover and applaud her awesomeness.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5208-e1408478495279.jpgBribing with pizzaThe important thing is to keep the pizza out of reach until the moving is complete.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5207-e1408478503389.jpgHow I actually moveThis is an accurate depiction of how my living space looks while I am moving.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5206-e1408478511135.jpgOrganized movingLook at those labels! Look at that expert taping technique!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5204-e1408478520434.jpgMoving in with BoyfriendCats and dogs, living together y'all.2014-08-27T01:31:45+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/about/2014-08-19T16:30:58+00:00weekly0.6https://perpetualplothole.com/2014/08/18/ruiningtechnology/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5195-e1408375347606.jpgScience vs magicScience-me requires glasses to look smart. Wizard-me clearly does not care about the importance of appearing intellectual.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5194-e1408375337821.jpgComputer wizardToday's brief history lesson: Prior to Harry Potter, y'all, costume wizard robes were traditionally covered in stars and moons, and involved pointy hats. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5193-e1408375324627.jpgBlue Screen of DeathIt's only the Blue Screen of Misery because "Blue Screen of horrible data failure, swear words, disappointment and tears" didn't fit.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5192-e1408375317465.jpgI love booksI express my feelings by hugging inanimate objects. You may have noticed.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5190-e1408375309541.jpgCalculusI had very strong opinions regarding the idea of "imaginary numbers." If they';re imaginary, then I can imagine them any way I want.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5189-e1408375299118.jpgHow Computer Science WorksThis provides an illustrated guide to my pre-college Computer Science understanding.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5185-e1408375290116.jpgLove ComputerWhat? Don't you hug your laptop?2014-08-23T00:21:59+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/08/15/nothyperbole/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5166.jpgThe shower saved my lifeThe future has all the best murdery deviceshttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5165.jpgBless Shower TechnilogyYou're feeling bad for the bug, aren't you? Don't let him trick you. You can't trust anything with more than four legs, and he had like, 80.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5164.jpgDon't panicThis is my grown-up tough-girl face.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5163.jpgBug in the showerAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5162.jpgSpidey-senses in the showerThis is how you end up with soap in your eyes at 5:30 in the morning.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5161.jpgWashing hair is funThis is as close as the Internet will ever get to seeing me in the shower. You're all welcome.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5160.jpgSeriously, shower, turn onOk, we should probably invent me-sensing showers before we invent flying cars. Get on it, Google.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5159.jpgThe shower is not psychicThis is an accurate depiction of my morning in-the-shower pose.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5158.jpgMorning ConfusionI also sound like a zombie when I walk. And look like one. I really don't know what happens to my hair when I sleep.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/img_5152.jpgWaking up to the alarmNothing gets the adrenaline going in the morning quite like the sound of my alarm clock. It probably also doubles as an impending nuclear war alert.2014-08-19T20:29:21+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/04/28/promotionbysurprise/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4454-e1398719176660.jpgAwkward Dance InterruptusThese things have a tendency to interrupt even the most awkward of dances.***https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4455-e1398719183536.jpgProbably a promotionSo try to look happy about it, ok? It's a PROMOTION.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4456-e1398719189971.jpgLike a bossBecause if you are a boss, you have to get things done like a BOSS.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4459-e1398719202523.jpgRepressed by workHelp. I'm being repressed. Uh, I mean...Yup. Great.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4458-e1398719195275.jpgHow to break your elbowsThis is a very bad way to catch heavy projects. I do not recommend it.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4453-e1398719165399.jpgpromotion danceAnd, of course, you are then entitled to a justified happy dance, even if it is awkward.**2014-04-30T16:48:29+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/04/09/tupperware/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4370.jpgIMG_4370Tupperware is harder to draw than cars. Apparently I think it looks like a tissue box. It's Tupperware, people.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4369.jpgIMG_4369This is my serious confession facehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4381.jpgIMG_4381Tupperware fortresses need windows or the plastic will suffocate you. Duh.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4372.jpgIMG_4372I'm just being honest here, people. Because I care. And because you all seem to care a LOT about Tupperware.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4371.jpgIMG_4371What, do you not recycle via vat?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4374.jpgIMG_4374I run a lot of places. And also can hover off the ground.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4373.jpgIMG_4373I have places to be because I am busy and important, but mostly because I forget to do dishes a lot.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4375.jpgIMG_4375I'm not getting any better at drawing cars. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4379.jpgIMG_4379This is an entire post involving things I cannot draw. Sponges. Sinks. Tupperware. Cars....https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4377.jpgIMG_4377NoOoOOOooOooOOoOoOooooo. 2014-04-18T16:55:34+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/04/07/meetthemidnightlion/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/midnight-lion-spiders.jpgMidnight Lion SpidersReal friendship is all about knowing how to get your friend to get out of bed in the morning.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/photo-3-e1396903130962.jpgGirls are crazier than boysThis is an accurate representation of many of our conversations.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/photo-2-e1396903125119.jpgMidnight Lion HigWith our powers combined, we cannot summon Captain Planet, any Power Rangers, or the Wonder Twins’ stupefying powers. But we CAN summon quite a lot of scathing sarcasm.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/photo-1-e1396903136193.jpgThe Midnight LionBut since we’re all friends here, we’ll simply be calling him “Midnight Lion” from this point forward. Notice his glorious mane.2014-08-15T17:01:36+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/04/02/autoshopevils/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/aaa.jpgAAAThis is not their real logo. In fact, for legal reasons, I'm probably talking about an imaginary company.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4321-e1396462628102.jpgFretting about car repairsThere was much worrying and wringing of hands.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4308-e1396462574110.jpgHorrible Car NoisesMy car is very happy about being a non-working jerk.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4311.jpgIMG_4311And by "up," I mean the dealership paid for a rental car for me because they were all out of loaners.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4314.jpgNew technology, new carClearly my car love is a fickle, fickle thing. Mostly because I only have an AUX plug in in my car.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4313.jpgRental Cars are AwesomeThe keys felt like betrayal in my hand...https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4316-e1396463657999.jpgWriting angry letters to the car dealershipIt's like the opposite of a ransom note. It's an "I hate you and I'll give you anything you want" note.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4315-e1396463564140.jpgCrying over carMy face is not leaking, But my eyes are. Traitors.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4317-e1396463788601.jpgGetting my car backThis is the car repair guy I have been dealing with. Let's call him Jim. Jim is really not sure how to deal with me. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_4319-e1396464028230.jpgCar repair people lieTHAT'S NOT A REAL THING, JIM.2014-04-07T07:14:32+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/03/31/uptowngirl/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4293-e1396301931815.jpgDelicious caramel krispy treatThis is a double-marshmallow rice krispy treat covered in CARAMEL CORN, guys, _Caramel corn._https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4295.jpgTrying to resist temptationThis is my “resisting” pose.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4294.jpgUptown GirlSee? There’re business heels and a business coat, and even business hair. I’ve got this “professional” thing down.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4297.jpgFace squishSmooshing your face up against the window glass of a fancy bakery is a very professional thing to do.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4296.jpgNOT RESISTINGThis is my “totally not resisting” pose.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4294_2.jpgCookie OnslaughtNope. No one is prepared to resist cookie smells.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4298.jpgIt was so goodBest. Meeting. Ever.2014-08-15T17:00:24+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/03/27/nosalad/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4269.jpgCouch yogaThis is what my “Everything is ridiculous” couch pose looks like. It’s my own form of yoga, and I am head guru of it. I am, in fact, accepting students at this time.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4270.jpgThe Cat is Hungry 1Seriously. I own three types of candy, one mostly empty bag of chips, and a lot of spices.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4271.jpgThe cat does not want candy and spicesExcept the three types of candy, mostly empty bag of chips, and all the spices.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4272-e1395936713107.jpgShould eat a salad for dinnerSalads are made of all the vegetables, and are thusly the high king of all vegetables. Malnutrition can be solved by salads. Because that’s how Science works.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4273-e1395936722926.jpgGroceries are difficult to buyAnd that groceries ARE hard. There are so many things to look at and buy. And so many types of candy to try NOT to buy.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4274-e1395936731622.jpgNEED CUPCAKESTHESE ARE THE THINGS THAT I NEED AND I MUST HAVE THEM NOW.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4276-e1395936739307.jpgDoodling proof I can find my keysLook! I can find my keys! LIFE SKILLS!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4278-e1395936746536.jpgFinally foodAND THEY WERE DELICIOUS.2014-04-03T18:48:59+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/03/06/pause1/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/sriracha-popcorn-7.jpgsriracha-popcorn-7This is not my hand, and that makes me sad. Click for source ("i am a food blog", which I <3) and recipe.2014-03-27T16:31:41+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/03/04/lifelessonmechanics/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4219.jpgSinging on a road tripI never will. Journey. I never, ever will.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4220.jpgDriving over a cement seamThis gentle bump was really a completely normal road seam on the highway, many miles between exits. This is an important fact.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4221.jpgSomething is wrong with my carI have carefully transcribed the exact noises for your pleasure.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4222.jpgLook at the sign! Look at the sign!Sometimes signs are very literal. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4223.jpgBadass BandanaOf course I keep my car repair headgear in the car. It's the best place for it.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4225.jpgNeed help?Any time I can't see someone speaking to me, I pretend I'm being addressed by ghosts. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4226.jpgSEXISM IS HAPPENINGI don't make these things up, people.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4229.jpgSurely not.Surely I have misheard this. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4230.jpgInner monologuesDeliverance Country: Don't stop there. It's more dangerous than bat countryhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_4231.jpgWhy is she working on her car?I had sharp tools. These are brave men, my friends. Very brave.2014-04-13T01:21:48+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/27/mechanics/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4161.jpgIMG_4161Don't try this at home, kids.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4160.jpgIMG_4160My mechanic also has fancy car-care headwear. Because neither of us are weird.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4159.jpgIMG_4159What, do you not have a special head accessory for car care? You are so weird.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4158.jpgIMG_4158I love my car. It looks like a bubble. It is an ugly doodle, though. 2014-03-26T11:46:36+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/26/wednesdaysad/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4155.jpgSad doodleIt's ok, Sticklet. We'll have adventures tomorrow.**https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4154.jpgDangerous to upset the stick figuresYeah....https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4152.jpgI'm so happy to see youHi hi hi hi hi!2014-03-03T19:02:57+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/25/southernspring/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4136.jpgMonsanto killed the beesOh Monsanto. Why do you hate honey and flowers? Way to kill all the bees, guys. (Just kidding)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4135.jpgNature is bad and I am allergic to itI’m still mad at nature, even if it motivates me to dress like a bandit.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4134.jpgAllergies in the south are awfulThis is an even more accurate representation of my allergy face.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4133-e1393363032596.jpgWhat I look like with allergiesThis is a very accurate representation of my allergy face.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4132-e1393362954733.jpgSpring in the southHurray nature! This is how the weather SHOULD be experienced.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/my-map.jpgMy MapPink is where I’ve lived, green is where I’ve been, and beige states obviously don’t exist in reality because I haven’t been there yet. Sorry, most-of-the-middle-of-America. Click for original map-source.2014-02-26T15:03:00+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/24/groceries/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4127.jpgNo food in my houseIf you look in my pantry-shelf, you will probably think that Hot Tamales are a legitimate dinner-making ingredient.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4126.jpgChecking out at the grocery storeThe checkout people look at you funny if you say “boop” every time they scan something. I will not tell you how I know this.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4124.jpgThrowing out the grocery listGoodbye list. Hello, bankruptcy.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4121.jpgVery important shopping listIt’s important to consult your list BEFORE the shopping process begins.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4120.jpgGrocery aislesI have a tendency to frolic through the aisles. Don’t try it at home, kids.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4119.jpgGrocery doorsWatching me walk into a grocery store is probably a lot like watching the little squeaky green aliens in Toy Story stare at The Claw. “OooOoOOoooo….”2014-02-25T21:37:01+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/21/ithelp/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4108-e1393002471266.jpgConsoling myself with InternetAnd that’s the very best prize.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4106-e1393002394231.jpgPlug for my phoneTRAITOR PLUG.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4104-e1393002295113.jpgUnplugged phoneMy IT helper was very good about delivering this news with a sincerely helpful face.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4103-e1393002233340.jpgIt bringing back InternetThis is why I should not be allowed to work in real companies with other employees.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4102-e1393001975877.jpgRequesting help from ITYes. I do reference Oliver Twist when I ask people for things. It makes everything more literary.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4101.jpgSomething wrong with computer…I sense a disturbance in the Force…https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4100.jpgPlugging everything in in a new office spaceI had to make the plug in noises myselfhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4099.jpgIMG_4099It's like a grown up puzzle!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4098.jpgOffice MovingAll of my things did not fit in one box. I am lying to you with this picture.2014-03-03T18:56:40+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/20/olympiclove/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4097.jpgInternet LoveWe're still cool, right?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4096.jpgMe ice skatingIn fairness, this is what I look like while figure skating, and I can’t even spin.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/sochi-olympic-rings.jpgSochi Olympic RingsThat someone over in Russia is mortally depressed over, I’m sure. Click for sourcehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/figure-skating-face.jpgFigure Skating FaceI would never have noticed this face without your help, Internet. And I would have been fine with that. Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4095.jpgFigure skating is hardIn this hypothetical doodle world, she just did three triple toe loops. Can’t we talk about how cool that was?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4093.jpgMaking the Olympics sadWay to go, Internet.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4091.jpgI Love the OlympicsDuuuunn dun dun dun duuuunnnn dun. Dunnn dah-dah-dah duuuunnnn…2014-02-22T01:20:42+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/19/confessions3/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/flower-joy.pngFlower JoyOMGLOOKITHOWHAPPYITISAWWWWWW... Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/bed-blog.pngBed BlogSee? A _really_ good reason.2014-02-20T16:53:25+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/14/valentines2014/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4050.jpgValentine to the InternetBecause ours is a truly true love.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4049.jpgYou'll never guess what we're doing on Valentines DayGuess what we’re doing? Go on. Guess.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4047.jpgSingle friends on Valentines DayThere is always popcorn. It is a rule.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4046.jpgDelicious ribsThat lady is a waitress. I think she was scared of us.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4044.jpgTHotSHi THotS. You know who you are. And you know you were never going to get a vote in your blog-name. _You’re welcome._https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4043.jpgHow heart attacks happenWhich coincidentally resulted in me actually being a lot more like this.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4042.jpgDon't need no loveI’m also a child who grew up in the 90s. I’m super good at “talk to the hand.”https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4041.jpgValentine for the InternetI clearly put lots of effort into making my Valentine for you. You are _welcome._2014-02-19T19:08:59+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/13/catshatehomework/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4029.jpgPetting cat on laptopPurr. Purr. Purr. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4027.jpgCat on laptopThis is why my current project reads "wretcidnpwvnrub79843" in the middle of a sentence.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4026.jpgCat climbing on tableShe's also kind of shove-y and personal-space-invade-y.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4025.jpgMy cat is a ninjaShe is an expert at sneaking into laps from under blankets.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4023.jpgWorking from home with a catMy cat wanders around purr-hum-meowing. That's normal, right?2014-02-19T15:00:51+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/12/coldmedicine/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4010.jpgHack wheezeMust...breathe...ack...https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4009.jpgAfrin RocksCan you hear the angels singing? It’s really evil malicious laughter.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4008.jpgI'm in love with airIt’s a true love. And unbreakable love. A love that lasts until death.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4007.jpgSpringing from BedIt feels really spectacular to breathe after four days of being unable to breathe.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4006.jpgNot better at allOh Dammit.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4005.jpgNot Quite BetterHuh?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_4004.jpgI feel better!Woo!2014-02-13T18:10:27+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/11/cancer2/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3999.jpgHow I talk to my dadI have no idea how to draw cars.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3998.jpgDeciding the biopsyIt’s a funny thing, when someone tells you tough news. If someone you really trust is there, listening with you, your brain sometimes just doesn’t really process technical decisions.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3997.jpgGetting poked in the breastboneBecause it is unpleasant.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3996.jpgDr. SeriousFaceMeet Dr. SeriousFace. I did not think he liked me at all.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3995-e1392135587709.jpgNot greatTHAT IS NOT GREAT.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3994-e1392135525245.jpgTelling parents I might have cancerLook! Feet!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3993.jpgDad asks what is wrongBecause usually I am not so preoccupied with my feet. I know that’s hard to believe. I’m pretty sure he was making spaghetti.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3992.jpgDazed with feetA remarkable amount of my daze-related thoughts have to do with words. Grammar is cool, guys.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3991.jpgTalking with my doctorSome statements just stand out more than others.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/cancer-slice.jpgCancer SliceAlso this. This view is what my chest looked like if you could view it from my shoulders down. 2014-02-13T19:37:16+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/10/captainromantic/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3975.jpgTissue ParadeDid you know that if you wave tissues in the air while marching around, it’s like you’re having your VERY OWN PARADE?! This changes everything.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3971.jpgTrue story, guysIt’s a real toaster. This is a real storyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3985-e1392059413765.jpgHe feels toasterSeriously. I’m good at reading between the lines and all, but toasters and feelings together in the same present is just confusing.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3984-e1392059356469.jpgI am not making up this storyI am not making this up, people.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3982-e1392059300481.jpgThe dooming words of romanceWith these exact words. Please keep these words in mind.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3981-e1392059223297.jpgRomance and loveEverything is more romantic in an apron.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3980-e1392059130562.jpgDinner and romanceOk, I may have let him unwrap the present BEFORE I declared what it was.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3979.jpgThe Romance!Check out all that enthusiasm! Romance is in the air! For sure!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3978.jpgCaptain Romantic PortraitTah-Dah.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3977.jpgheart hugI confess to my hopeless romanticism. And also I like to hug big plush hearts.2014-02-19T19:11:18+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/07/robotoverlords/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3958.jpgHoverboard from robots"Flying skateboard" sounds more fun than "hoverboard." Just accept it.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3957.jpgRobot friendsYAY! Robot friends! Watson is not a very good dancer.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3956.jpgRegular skateboardIt doesn’t even really help if you make flying noises.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3954.jpgLove robot overlordNo, I cannot draw robot hands. And yes, he has four fingers on purpose. How many fingers do YOUR robot overlords have? Go ahead. Count. It’s four.2014-02-10T15:22:50+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/06/needcoffee/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3950.jpgZombie meThis is how TV has taught me to cope with things.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3953.jpgAll the regretsWHO DID THIS TERRIBLE THING?!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/gummi-bears-gummibeary-juice.jpgGummi Bears Gummibeary JuiceThis is your obscure 80s/early 90s cartoon reference for the day. Click for image source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3952.jpgMust have coffeeIn retrospect, my life would be easier in the morning if I started keeping my coffee pot on the floor.2014-02-10T15:03:20+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/05/goodbyezoosk/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/s-cake.jpgS CakeIt's not really a lie if I knew it was once a truth...https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/schrodingers-cake-e1391614284647.jpgSchrodingers CakeThere may be cake inside. There may be no cake inside. There both is and is not cake...Until you look inside.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/zoosk.jpgDenying ZooskThose tears of sorrow are super heartfelt, I'm sure.2014-02-11T12:54:08+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/04/cancer1/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/xray.jpgxrayI feel a little bit like a harlot, exposing so much of myself to the Internet. I'm only letting you see my insides for science.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3935.jpgWeird lonely thoughtsHonest and truly. This was my exact thought, sitting there in the quiet, under the fluorescent lights. I didn't really think it was funny, actually.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3934.jpgThis is concerningI live in the South. God gets a lot of play in the world of medicine.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3933.jpgGetting squished by my brotherEver since he joined the army, these wrestling matches became distinctly unfair.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3932.jpgMy brother's familyYay! Family! <3https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3931.jpgDefinitely AllergiesI didn’t even have allergies until I came to the South. Thanks, the South.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3930.jpgIncorrect diagnosis 1Worried? Who’s worried? Not I.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3929.jpgYoga with MomI did not inherit an abundance of lady-like grace from my mother.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3928.jpgNo ExcitementHonestly, I was the physical embodiment of the word “meh.”https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3927.jpgHappy 25th BirthdayBirthday tiaras. They’re totally a real thing that everyone needs.2014-02-05T21:43:15+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/02/03/sportsballparty/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/the-bravest-bug-killer-e1391444305220.jpgThe bravest bug killerTechnically, that book is biodegradable and so probably not littering.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/horrible-bug-killer-e1391444234554.jpgHorrible Bug Killer(Because if you tip toe up to bugs, they won’t notice your intentions to murder them horribly. It’s also harder to run away on your tip toes.)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/bug-box-e1391444130489.jpgBug BoxIT WAS THE BIGGEST BUG IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND HE WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3909.jpgCleaning apartmentBecause two-handed cleaning is always effective.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3908.jpgWaking Up Party DayIt’s like waking up the morning of the middle school science fair and realizing you never actually MADE the paper mache volcano.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3907.jpgThrowing a Party SongYes. This is a song. I encourage you to sing it next time you throw a party.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3906.jpgFacebook adsFacebook is really determined to figure out what ads are most effective for selling things to me. They have yet to try to use dinosaurs or explosions, so they still haven’t outsmarted me.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3905.jpgTalking to yourselfYou only think I do not have these conversations with myself out loud. At work.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3904.jpgBad decision devilThe bad decision devil is personally responsible for that one time I decided to…uh, nevermind. That’s a completely different story that you should forget about immediately.2014-02-05T17:15:23+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/31/confidencetrap/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3902-e1391194044541.jpgPIRATE EMPRESSIt was probably all of the times I smacked my head on the floor that proves my father right here.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3901-e1391193995458.jpgNot DeadI am perhaps translating what I think my father was thinking, instead of actually transcribing the thoughtful things he said to comfort my mother after making sure I wasn’t dead or really damaged.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3900-e1391193946418.jpgDangerous ConfidenceOops.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3898-e1391193884618.jpgBorn on a LadderI was definitely not born on a ladder. I’m sure that would have been super awkward for my mom. In hindsight, telling your mother you were “born” on or around anything other than a hospital is generally pretty dumb.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3896-e1391193832174.jpgMy mom trying to save meMy mom always has cool hair. This was her cool hair when we lived in California.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3895-e1391193777248.jpgMy attickEven people who read my blog are mine. My readers. Hi, Mine Reader-Person!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3894-e1391193733142.jpgMy closetSee? All the things are mine.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3893-e1391193688609.jpgMy HouseEverything was “mine” when I was 10. And also now.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3892-e1391193614384.jpgCarl the SnakeAND I LOVED HIM FOREVER AND ALWAYS UNTIL I FOUND OUT HE ATE BUGS. And then I put him back.2014-02-05T21:43:49+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/30/ladypride/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3869-e1391098590184.jpgHard to be single or in a coupleAt least we can all talk about how silly we are.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3868-e1391098509614.jpgLife phasesI clearly have no idea what banana tree-bushes look like. That's how those grow, right?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3867-e1391098454971.jpgCouple problemsNot that I would ever leave dishes in the sink, or anything. My life is super clean and organized. Definitely. Just, uh. Call before you come over.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3866-e1391098028710.jpgAwkward datesAnd awkward. It was also awkward. Because this really happened. He told me I should "give them out to my friends."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3865-e1391096898705.jpgLast Single GirlThis pose just looks silly without other people around. And, well, with other people around.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3864-e1391096608368.jpgFriends moving in togetherI am going to lose “serious boyfriend doodling” privileges, I just know it.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3863-e1391096541209.jpgFriends getting marriedYes. I do picture all brides in princess dresses and tiaras. Because tiaras.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3862-e1391096488165.jpgLady PrideI think I should mention very few of these stick figures look anything like my friends2014-02-05T17:13:58+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/29/its-the-happiest-wednesday/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3858-e1391016472176.jpgBest Day Everhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3857-e1391016397877.jpgSnow DayIT IS IT IS IT IS!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3856-e1391016318305.jpgGuess what stick figurehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3855-e1391016242340.jpgHappy Me2014-01-31T18:57:12+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/28/lifelessonmorningpeople/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3848-e1390924018729.jpgGetting called on inside out shirtIt was not subtly inside out either, guys. There were tags and seams and possibly the opposite side of shirt-decorations visible.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3846-e1390923950715.jpgGetting dressed in the darkIt’s hard to see the stars and sparkles in the dark.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3845-e1390923874856.jpgChoosing clothes for work in the morningSelecting the proper attire in a dark closet clearly requires a lot of finesse.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3844-e1390923792609.jpgGetting dressedOf course stars and sparkles appear when I successfully get dressed in the morning. Does this not happen for you?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3843-e1390923727403.jpgDawn is evilClosing the curtains doesn’t even help. I still know it’s there.2014-02-26T11:05:53+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/27/catssleeping/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3828-e1390836965222.jpgEvil alarm clockYes. I still own an alarm clock that beeps at 100,000,000 decibels. It’s the only one I have not broken.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3827-e1390836905949.jpgStick figure cat singingI’m so serious. Drawing stick figure cats is something I hope to never do again. I wonder if there are specific art classes for this.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/cat-redecorating-e1390836841177.jpgCat RedecoratingBecause all things – most especially palettes full of wet paint – look better on the floor. Most especially beige carpet.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3824-e1390836529518.jpgCat waking me upI told you I do not know how to draw stick figure cats.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3823-e1390836439611.jpgTaking my cat to bed***Yes. This is what I call my cat. This is not her name.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3822-e1390836374444.jpgMy first stick figure catI do not know how to draw stick figure cats.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3821-e1390836245764.jpgOnsie JammiesYes, I did perform my flash-dances in these pajamas.2014-02-06T18:59:23+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/24/babyshowers/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/creepiest-cake.jpgCreepiest CakeThis little terror is courtesy of Cake Wrecks. Click for source and hours of entertainment!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3808-e1390576713806.jpgIMG_3808No excuse is acceptable for missing the office baby shower. (But getting accused of baby hating will apparently make your stick figure body disconnect from your stick figure arms)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3807-e1390576498646.jpgPresent forts for the pregnantOne giant present fort. From one baby shower. From people who love you and do not feel oddly obligated to buy you awkward things when they’ve never even met your family.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3806-e1390576408254.jpgBaby presentationIn my head, all new babies are shown off in Lion King fashion.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/awkward-conference.jpgAwkward ConferenceBecause this is just a really awkward conference for everyone involved. Click for source, which I'm sure wasn't awkward and was amazing and thank you for letting me use your picture.2014-03-23T11:53:14+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/23/yayenglish1/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_38031-e1390489815122.jpgMonsters everywhereThis is less scary than flying spiders.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3801-e1390489699487.jpgALL OF THE DOUBLOONSDoubloon mountain is probably guarded by flying spiders.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3800-e1390489587177.jpgChased by Spiders that you gotScience has taught me that if it can pop up in your most awful dreams, it’s probably also a real thing. So, flying spiders.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3798-e1390489507432.jpgWant MilkAll things worth desiring are on fancy columns or pedestals. Is that not how your life works?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/supermilk.jpegSuperMilkBecause who needs the sweet nourishment of Earth’s yellow sun when you can instead binge on milkshakes?! Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/got-spiders.jpgGot SpidersBecause having spiders is something people frequently ask others about. Click for source and to rid your living space of spider infestations!2014-02-06T16:02:55+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/22/notcountry/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3794-e1390347053799.jpgFancy pants and bootsAnd that's all a girl ever wants. Secret boots. And fancy pants.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3793-e1390346986152.jpgBye Bunny slippersBye bye bunnies…Oh come on guys. They're slippers. Don't call PETA.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3792-e1390346903893.jpgCowboy stanceAhem. Yee-haw?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3791-e1390346840690.jpgCowboy BootsThey do, in fact, look this stylish in real life.2014-01-31T18:58:38+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/21/gymflirting/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3787-e1390320112464.jpgWine and cake for dinnerhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3786-e1390320020764.jpgAfter a runYES! I didn't have to draw a treadmill for this one!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3784-e1390319909161.jpgAn hour long runDo your treadmills not beep to signify the end of your torture? It's like angels are singing.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3782-e1390319793269.jpg45 minutes in to a runI have drawn the biggest treadmill in all the land.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_37801-e1390319690804.jpgFive minutes in to a workoutSeriously. That doesn't look at ALL like a treadmill.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3778-e1390319513953.jpgRunning at the beginningClearly I have no idea how to draw a treadmill. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3777-e1390319416674.jpgOn the way to work outFacial enthusiasm in this image is provided for demonstration purposes only, and in no way accurately reflects my face on the way to go work out.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/food-pyramid.jpgFood PyramidThis is why I go to the gym.2014-08-15T17:01:07+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/20/stayhomeinstead/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3766-e1390233359190.jpgMore fun to stay inBecause it is very important to judge dates based on their sock puppet skills.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/three-panel.jpgImaginary vs reality - it doesn't matterI think the goal really might be to convince guys that we women are magicians.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3760-e1390232790211.jpgAccurate Date PreparationsThis is an accurate depiction of date preparation. Sometimes there are injuries.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3759-e1390232707794.jpgThe problems with girl hairTrouble always seems to strike me in the form of complicated hair products.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3757-e1390232606760.jpgGasp a dateWhat? Doesn’t every girl stand with her hands behind her back all the time?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3755-e1390232520190.jpgImpromptu Puppet Show FlirtingApparently guys don’t have a resounding appreciation for spontaneous sock puppet shows. I wish someone had told me.2014-01-27T16:04:51+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/17/psa33headphones/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3735-e1389970921551.jpgIt's never anythingIT WAS A TRICK.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3733-e1389970732972.jpgTalking to headphoneThis is an accurate representation of this situation happening.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3730-e1389970577397.jpgWorking with headphonesThese headphones are clearly not small. Also, this is my zen and productive work pose.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3728-e1389970438804.jpgCollaborative workspaceNote that those are not cube-boxes. Those are deskspace mini-cubes. The few "walls" don't even come out past the desk chairs. But we do have desk chairs. So basically, we're pretty spoiled.2014-02-07T16:18:49+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/16/favoriteblogging/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/usa.jpgUSAAnd Canada! <3https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/canada-is-awesome.jpgCanada is AwesomeOh. Hey Canada. I didn't even know you'd be here.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/finland.jpgFINLANDGuys! Finland and Canada TOGETHER! <3https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/bahrain.jpgBahrainKnowing that Canada had already shown me love, I was free to Google where, exactly, Bahrain is. It's in this circle. Somewhere.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/russia.jpgRussiaIt's so big I almost forget how much I miss Canada.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/and-canada-and-the-uk-and-australia.jpgAnd Canada And the UK and AUSTRALIAOh hi Canada!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/vietnam.jpgVIETNAMAwww. Why no love Canada? https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/it-could-be-the-queen.jpgIt could be the queenSeriously. I may not have mentioned how much I love Canada.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/france-you-guys1.jpgFRANCE YOU GUYSMan I love Canada so much.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/i-win-the-internet.jpgI Win The InternetSorry guys, but clearly I win the Internet. I am 100% sure my blog is NOT what they were looking for.2014-02-07T16:18:19+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/15/monsterseverywhere/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/colossal-squid-is-a-real-thing.jpgColossal Squid is a real thingIT HAS A BEAK UNDER THOSE TENTACLES. (Click for source.)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/parasites-e1389739364193.jpgParasitesI am never swimming again. Parasites are invisible monsters, y’all. (Click for source.)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/this-is-not-ok.jpgThis is not okNO NO NO NO NO NO. Someone call John Goodman. I also saw this movie. (Click for source)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/lions-mane-jellyfish.jpgLions-mane-jellyfishSwim away! Swim away! (Click for source.)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/baby-tremors.jpgBaby TremorsKevin Bacon recommends never lying next to giant worms. (Click for Source.)2014-01-15T18:11:31+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/14/midgetwrestlingisawkward/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/swimming-with-sharks.jpgMeg shark imageWhat, this doesn't look fun to you? Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/this-happened.jpgThis happenedJust in case you feel my interpretations are not accurate, this is what Extreme Midget Wrestling looks like. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3716-e1389714153822.jpgInformative LineThere were many complaints about Steve's mysterious absence. Eventually Steve became my favorite person in line.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3721-e1389713989295.jpgAppropriate CensorshipYou are welcome.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/the-wrestling-line.jpgThe Wrestling LineThis was the line! And it was raining! This did not discourage us in the slightest.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3714-e1389713197783.jpgWrestling IdealismThis is how my idealistic mind pictured an evening of midget wrestling to go. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3712.pngExtreme Midget Wrestling FederationBecause there’s a federation. And that means this is both a respectable and organized sport, guys. Go ahead. Click for source.2014-01-27T19:25:20+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/13/confessions2/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/adorable-kitten-is-delicious.jpgAdorable Kitten is Delicious"Man guys. I am just DELICIOUS." ^This is the real reason your cat won't stop grooming. Click for source, of course.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/vicious-tiger-kitten.jpgVicious Tiger KittenGOOOOAAAALLLLLL! Click for source. It's pretty entertaining.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/discovered-mimosas.jpgI'm Very Sorry about MimosasThey let you have them at BRUNCH, you guys.2014-02-11T12:58:40+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/10/yogatragedy/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3643.jpgFan FridayI can't even name a single Carolina Panthers player. But I am a PARTICIPATOR.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3648-e1389367177352.jpgHow I do YogaI'm possibly the only person who can fall over while doing seated yoga poses.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3647-e1389366972383.jpgPerfect at YogaDo words not float around you when you do yoga the right way? https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3646-e1389366879274.jpgThe Yoga WalkThis is, in fact, the patented "Wearing Yoga Pants to Do Yoga" walk. And I do it in real life.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3649-e1389366749545.jpgRock out to JourneyThis is actually how I dance in the car. It's kind of dangerous to be a passenger during a parking lot dance party.2014-03-03T16:21:55+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/09/blonde/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/samantha-from-bewitched.jpgSamantha from BewitchedGASP! Even Samantha from Bewitched is blonde! BLONDES ARE WITCHES! Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/jenna-marbles-really-good-looking.jpgJenna Marbles Really Good LookingJenna Marbles is a magical woman who knows everything about hair and boobs and tiny dogs and click this to go watch her right now. Also I have no idea how to do this to my hair.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/marilyn-monroe.jpgMarilyn MonroeThanks, Marilyn. You left behind a legacy of lies. Also, how does your hair do that? Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/village-of-the-damned.jpgVillage of the DamnedIn your face, you fakers. Those are OBVIOUSLY wigs. Click for source, because shockingly I did not have this photo on hand.2014-01-08T21:43:09+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/08/numbersarehard/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3623-e1389134018691.jpgNothing Costs $7Nothing The Company sells costs $7. Unless you ask me. Then absolutely everything The Company sells is sold for $7. Because math.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/nope-nope-nope.jpgNope Nope NopeFrom The Oatmeal. Go show him all the love, because he's brilliant, and this makes me happy. Click this and cheat to the comic in question.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3621-e1389133204284.jpgNumbers are hardYou never know just what might happen when you give Marketing numbers.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3618-e1389133077654.jpgMarketing Studies Your Every Move"Women who wear boots and fluffy skirts like things that can be carried in bags." - Factual Marketing Observationhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3614-e1389132980428.jpgThe Price of ProgrammersIs this not how people are quantified?2014-01-07T22:37:11+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/07/ohthatexplainsit/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/the-saddest-murderer-e1389105352898.jpgThe Saddest MurdererJust look at that slow tear. It's so moving. He is clearly the saddest murderer.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/lol-my-thesis-woodland-creatures.jpgLOL My Thesis Woodland CreaturesI don't even know what to say to this, but I can see how this is probably true.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/lol-my-thesis-aquarium.jpgLOL My Thesis AquariumKnow what? I really would be.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/lol-my-thesis-craigslist.jpgLOL My Thesis CraigslistSeriously. It's all so clear now. Click to check out the source.2014-01-07T14:50:52+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/06/zooskpart2/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/date-dinosaur-e1389020017259.jpgDate DinosaurAs a consolation, I found this tiny orphan dinosaur at the bowling alley. So, you know, there's that.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/ice-skates.jpgIce SkatesMy hockey skates bring all the boys to the yard. Errr...the ice rink.2014-01-06T14:59:46+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/03/lifelessonremembering/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/trampolining.jpgTrampoliningMy life was incomplete before I knew there were whole rooms dedicated to trampolines.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/the-conjuring.jpgThe ConjuringYeah. Nothing could go wrong watching this alone in the dark late at night. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3599-e1388759880780.jpgFriends 4 EvaIt occurs to me that the less coffee I've had before randomly drawing stick figures, the weirder my pigtails look. Also, teenagers have terrible survival instincts.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/dr-teeth-can-fit-your-head-in-his-mouth.jpgDr Teeth Can Fit Your Head in His MouthThis is a really terrifying face when you are very small and afraid of being eaten. Click for Source, which is a super amazing Muppet-focused blog.2014-01-28T21:22:35+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/02/daybehind/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/img_3586.jpgHappy New YearWe had the most amazing New Year's table. Don't even try to deny it.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/dinosaur-new-year-e1388671918371.jpgDinosaur New YearThis sums up both my expectations for the new year (More dinosaurs, shinier hats), and how amazing my Christmas was this year. This was a present I received. It is a handcrafted dinosaur serving dish. Because my friends are AMAY-ZING.2014-01-02T20:22:17+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2014/01/02/sugaryevil/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/gushers-wants-you-to-go-outside.jpgGushers Wants You To Go OutsideI still don't know what "gush" means in this context.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/filled-twizzlers-for-gushers-enthusiasts-e1388675508840.jpgFilled Twizzlers for Gushers EnthusiastsI stole this picture from my friend who enjoys these probably-poisonous snacks. I am sharing it with you out of concern.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/fruitsnackia-gushers.jpgFruitsnackia GushersMeet Larry. In the introduction animation, he taps his side and then drinks his own delicious gooey insides. Click for source. I dare you.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/this-is-advertising.jpgThis is AdvertisingBecause these days, we need to clarify to children that giving fruit snacks names and a homeland doesn't mean you shouldn't eat them. It's just _advertising_. Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/super-gusher.jpgSuper GusherSeriously. This is a thing someone made. And presumably ate. Guys. This HAPPENED to someone. Click for source and instructions. You're _welcome_.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/gushers-ad.jpgGushers AdHow did these ads not scar all of us for life? I really don't want to turn into a raspberry. I saw Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/doctoral-hug-e1388674618896.jpgDoctoral HugIT'S A TRAP.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/gushers.jpggushers fruit snacksThese are Gushers, if somehow you missed the mid-to-late 80s and all of the 90s. Click for source!2014-01-04T13:29:48+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/30/eveningpost/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/diner-brunch-21-e1388447259186.jpgBrunch Notes Take 2Allow me to explain: 1) I have spent a lot of this vacation playing murdery video games with my Dad. 2) I have also spent a lot of this vacation cuddling my cat, but I think it's cooler if she can fly. And she probably can. She's cool like that. 3) I TOLD you I had a present fort. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/diner-brunch-1-e1388446897393.jpgBrunch Notes Take 1Point 1: Yes, I do call my mom "Mommy." Point 2: Yes, I am a grown woman. Point 3: You're _welcome_ for the product placement, Belk and Ulta. I accept monetary rewards and also tiaras.2013-12-30T23:55:06+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/27/untruth/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/new-phone.jpgNEW PHONEIt's GOLD, guys! GOLD. Apple is enabling my American materialism. Bad Apple.2013-12-30T23:31:37+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/26/oops/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/creepy-children-invite.jpgCreepy Children InviteI was going to use this to make you all a Bathtub Party Day* invite, but then I found out Bathtub Party Day is totally a copyrighted holiday. Click for source. 2013-12-27T15:38:27+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/25/christmasnog/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3525.jpgPresent FortThis is my present fort. Go away.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/christmas-jammies.jpgChristmas JammiesHappy Holidays, Internet. It's not even a selfie. It's just a really dumb-looking picture of me JUST FOR YOU. And yes, those are Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Jammies. Because my family loves me.2013-12-25T13:34:19+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/24/holidaylateness/2013-12-24T15:24:31+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/23/lifelessonselfie/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3480.jpgProduce box is sadProduce Box is really sad to meet you. Produce Box is kind of a jerk.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/cat-selfie.jpgCat Selfie"Oh, hai Internet. I can haz selfie skills."2013-12-24T00:16:39+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/20/magicpostoffice/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/bananaslicer.jpgBananaSlicerSpecially designed to be the most useless gift in the history of time. You can click here and buy 10 on Amazon. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3463.jpgThe Queen City Hides Non-City PartsNo tall buildings, as far as the eye can see.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/across-the-street.jpgAcross the StreetThis is what is directly across the street from my nearest post office. This is clearly the liveliest part of this neighborhood. Also, thanks again, Google Maps!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/i-swear-charlotte-is-a-city.jpgI Swear Charlotte is a CitySee? Big buildings = real city. Point proven. This image is also thanks to Google Maps, which has way more geographical knowledge than I do.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/post-office1.jpgPost OfficePlease try to contain your excitement. Image courtesy of Google Maps. Thanks, Google!2014-01-27T16:02:35+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/19/lifelessoninsults/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/palmersaurus.jpgPalmersaurusClick for amazing, amazing sourcehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/spider-brain-e1387399211388.jpgSpider BrainSeriously. Ew. Also, it's like a thousand times worse than that story where a spider laid eggs in a lady's face.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/heart-of-unwashed-socks-e1387399161137.jpgHeart of Unwashed SocksThis is not a good place to keep socks. Clean OR dirty.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/nauseate-me-e1387399086870.jpgNauseate MeSometimes you should just be honest with the people who follow you into the bathroom.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/no-crocodile-e1387399028181.jpgNo CrocodileI'm just being honest about it.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/termite-smile-e1387398879718.jpgTermite SmileIt is difficult to draw termites and not have them look like braces. Also: Don't invest in wooden teethhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/empty-hole-heart-e1387398801168.jpgEmpty Hole HeartWhat, do you NOT picture an empty chocolate box for this line in the song? Is it just me? Crap, it's just me.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/cactus-cuddle-e1387398725952.jpgCactus CuddleIt is key to recognize cactus cuddling as a mistake BEFORE commencing the hug. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/fangtooth-eel.jpgFangtoothed Moray EelI cannot draw anything as terrifying as this. Click for source and science.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/heel-e1387398589425.jpgYou're a HeelBecause few things are more insulting that foot anatomy. 2013-12-23T16:28:59+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/18/americanfashion/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/wristpack.jpgWristpackMeet "The Gnome." But I call it "The Wristpack." Guys, it's a fanny pack FOR YOUR WRIST. Click for source and wise investment.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/hiphugger-fanny-pack.jpgHipHugger Fanny PackGuys. GUYS. It comes in paisley. This is the wave of the FUTURE! Also, this is not a video. It's just a picture. The play button is a lie. But if you click it, you can visit the source, and help fund this project. (DO IT.)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/fanny-pack-ruffles.jpgFanny Pack RufflesThe ruffles add a lady-like appeal that ruins the once multi-gender fanny pack fun. Click for source, and to buy your own, which you totally should.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/rhianna-fanny-pack.jpgRhianna Fanny PackApparently Rhianna is to blame. Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/fanny-pack-old-school.jpgFanny Pack Old SchoolThis is the way I remember these highly fashionable, practical devices. Click for source, which you can't buy anymore. But don't worry. THERE ARE MORE ON SALE.2013-12-18T14:31:09+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/17/inflation/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/russia.jpgHi Russia!HI RUSSIA! https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/cookie-making-super-shooter.jpgCookie Making Super Shooter Gun Costs Too MuchIgnore everything that looks like a reasonable price. Someone thinks it's worth $300. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/super-shooter.jpgSuper ShooterOur looked exactly like this. Except with more red and green food coloring smearing in child-sized hand prints all over the box. Click for source. Or to buy me one.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/sprtiz-cookies.jpgSprtiz CookiesThese cookies are a lie. Spritz cookies never come out that vividly red or green. Don't trust these cookies. They are for example only. Click for source.2013-12-17T17:49:43+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/16/sparklemotion/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/sparkle-motion-dinosaurs-e1387210807230.jpgSparkle Motion DinosaursWhat, do you not have Christmas dinosaurs? It's like you don't even celebrate the holidays. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3391-e1387210583679.jpgSanta FairyMeet Santa fairy. He's factually a fairy. He has wings. I swear. And delicate leggings. And pointy shoes. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3392-e1387210290882.jpgChristmas MermaidThe Christmas Mermaid combines both the fun of The Little Mermaid with the elaborate hair styling of Cinderella's stepsisters. In your face, Disney.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3390-e1387209956601.jpgBalletreindeerlabraMeet the BalletReindeerLabra. Perfect for lighting your home and dancing the Nutcrackerhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3314-e1387209674676.jpgSparkle Motion TreeIgnore the plastic base. This tree is totally real. I swear**.2014-02-03T13:57:29+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/13/zoosk/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3011.jpgIncognito photoGo ahead. Just try and figure out what I actually look like from this helpful photo.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/average-popular.jpgAverage PopularThanks, Zoosk!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/zoosk1.jpgZoosk LogoClick if you would like to join the magical world of...really awkward messages.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/zoosk.jpgZoosk on ZooskApparently Zoosk allowed someone to _pick the username_ Zoosk. Way to go, Zoosk.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3379-e1386887919665.jpgNinjabreadIt's a proven fact. Cookies that fight are the most delicious cookies, because only the best survive to consumption.2014-01-28T14:42:13+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/12/teamwork/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/canada-is-awesome.jpgCanada is AwesomeLike, A LOT of Canada. Hi Canada!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/zombie-limo.jpgZombie LimoLuxury to suite your survival-related or undead needs! Click for amazing source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/zombie-concession-bus.jpgZombie Concession BusIt's zombielicious. Click for source. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/zombie-plan.jpgZombie Plan for Financial SuccessThis is a really great plan, right? Totally financially sound? Ok then. Dibs. This plan is Copyright me, 2013. (That's how copyrights work, right?)2013-12-14T04:40:46+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/11/missedopportunity/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-evilest-angel.jpgThe Evilest AngelSeriously. Don't let it in the house, don't get it wet, and don't let it eat after midnight. Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/i-just-do-not-know.jpgI just do not knowI don't...I just...what.... Click for source?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-saddest-folk-angel.jpgThe Saddest Folk AngelIt's probably so confused because it's hanging by it's head. Click for source!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-nakedest-flattest-cherub.jpgThe Nakedest Flattest CherubThat trumpet is _really_strategically placed. Click for source.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3350-e1386694627583.jpgChristmas Angel CompatriotsBecause fit Santas, buff angels, and ripped fiddle players BELONG together.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3349-e1386694503241.jpgGreatest Christmas AngelsI totally didn't pose them like this, guys, but I really believe they're doing a slow-motion chase scene for Jesus.2013-12-10T17:25:05+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/10/onsiepajamas/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/gold-hoodsie.jpgGold HoodsieIt's the new backwards frayed visor and popped collarhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/hoodsie-in-a-pool.pngHoodsie in a PoolWhen I put on my onsie pjs, I instantly think "Man. These would look great in the shallow area of the pool."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3367-e1386684582601.jpgFooted PajamasBecause what grown woman does not long for monkeys on her feet? Answer me that, dear reader.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/pajamajeans.jpgPajamaJeansI'm just curious: WHICH designer are we talking about here?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-hoodsie.jpgThe HoodsieAnimal hat and random confetti probably included. Every Hoodsie is party-ready. 2013-12-10T14:35:53+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/09/lifelessondevilcookies/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/final-cookie.jpgFinal cookieThe Final Producthttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/life-lesson-6119-6.jpgLife Lesson 6119IT LIES!! IT LIES!!!!!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/all-the-cookies-e1386598920401.jpgALL THE COOKIESSeriously. They were everywhere. EVERYWHERE.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_0665-e1386598506179.jpgWhat "thirds" looks likeThis is what "thirds-ish" looks like, represented by this here pink dough.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/life-lesson-6119-5.jpgBuried in a mountain of pinata cookiesAs it happens, I don't have a "burro-shaped" cookie cutter. I don't even have a donkey shaped one. What I have is a single, circle-shaped cookie cutter. It's called "a cup".https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/life-lesson-6119-4.jpgHow to make pinata cookies while dancingWhen in doubt, dancing alone in the kitchen solves every problem. Or makes everything worse. One of those two things is true.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/life-lesson-6119-3.jpgDoubling cookie doughDid you know my dad made me study College Algebra for like, three summers in a row? In middle school? This is relevant here. Because fractions. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/life-lesson-6119-2.jpgRemembering the cookiesShop Smart. Shop S*Mart.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/life-lesson-6119-1.jpgStep 1: Volunteer to Make CookiesMy artistic skills honestly do not extend beyond stick figures. But this time, colored markers were involved.2013-12-10T02:25:46+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/06/christmaslists/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3332-e1386282208719.jpgBananas at TargetJust in case you were worried. I know you were worried.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/stegosaurus-family-for-christmas-site.jpgStegosaurus Family for Christmas SiteFor example, I have not even once put this on my Amazon Wish List. And you know I want it. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3340-e1386281861485.jpgLetter to Santa, Age 14I was really not going to give up on Santa. Or a kitten. Even though I already had a cat.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3338-e1386281697167.jpgLetter to Santa, Age 11I was not above buttering up Santa. Or dotting my i's with hearts.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3343-e1386281414676.jpgDear Santa Age 6Terrible handwriting recreated for effect and realism. Spelling improved for your sake.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/santa-math.jpgSanta MathIs this not how magic works? https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/best-christmas-list.jpgBest Christmas ListThis image is just basically a link to go to the article. Click it and giggle. Thanks, Deadspin!2013-12-06T19:23:42+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/05/raprespect/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/no-bananas-e1386106142458.jpgNo BananasSeriously, y'all. This whole thing is supposed to be bananas. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/personality-personality.jpgBig Sean w/Hollyweerd, Plane Jane, Re, Pill, Don CannonThis image and all the joy and happiness it brings me (and you), is courtesy of Respectful Rappers on Tumblr. Click to visit the original.2013-12-06T19:23:10+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/04/typearecovery/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/googling-spider-eggs.jpgGoogling Spider EggsEvidence.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3322-e1386110521112.jpgWrong faceIllustrated me apparently wears pig tails even when sulking.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3320-e1386110430135.jpgI love babiesHere is a picture of me holding a baby. In drawing form. To prove that I totally don’t hate babies. Drawing me apparently has pigtails.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/tapa-logo.jpgTAPA LogoEveryone who attends assumes they're running the meeting. It's remarkably like The Hunger Games.2014-01-27T15:47:45+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/03/uncomfortableinternet/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3234-e1386009073190.jpgBrookstone BallsCHRISTMAS balls. Jeeze. You guys are pervs.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/things-that-are-wrong.jpgFingerspelling OBGYNI almost browsed right past this. I wish I'd browsed right past this.2013-12-02T22:08:59+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/12/02/christmastime/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3305-e1385997003684.jpgTotally Fake TreeSeriously. Ever since that one time I picked a tree full of spider eggs, I don't get a vote anymore.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_3298.jpgThanksgiving CabinIn case anyone was wondering, we celebrated Thanksgiving in the refurbished Evil Dead cabin. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_29781-e1385996206336.jpgBreakfast with Santa on HalloweenI went to the mall on Halloween. In my costume. And this is what greeted me. This is taking the Nightmare Before Christmas a little too far, guys.2013-12-02T22:02:02+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/27/im-taking-a-brief-hiatus-to-worship-turkey/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/turkey.jpgDelicious Turkey LordThe delicious turkey lord demands you interrupt your life for a feast.2013-11-27T01:14:25+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/26/juice-boxes-are-superior-to-soda-cans/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3248-e1385421699878.jpgCranberry has diedPoor Cranberry. He lived such a short and delicious life.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3244.jpgJuice Boxes can dieOh no! CRAAAANNNBEEERRRYYYY!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3242-e1385421337520.jpgMonsters can shareTaking this picture actually kind of disturbed me. You're welcome, you guys.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3241-e1385421202207.jpgDon't Fight, JuiceboxDesk monsters are bad at love.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3240.jpgCranberry and LennyFriends 4 Everhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3239-e1385420879834.jpgCranberry the JuiceboxMeet Cranberry. Cranberry the Juicebox. Cranberry the Juicebox, last of his line. (He was the last one in the break room fridge.)2014-02-24T17:29:29+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/25/this-is-why-i-shouldnt-have-the-internet/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/angry-snowy-owl.jpgAngry Snowy OwlSee? No one is happy about this nonsense.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/wikipedia-snowy-owl.jpgWikipedia Snowy OwlIt looked much colder than this one. But still. Snowy Owl, y'all. Wikipedia knows you want to know about Snowy Owls, too.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/google-chat-in-action.jpgGoogle Chat in actionI am so over AOL Instant Messenger.2013-11-22T21:34:58+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/11/the-confection-is-an-untruth/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/cake-lie.jpgThe Cake is So Seriously a LieOh what a delicious-looking...hey, wait!2013-11-22T18:53:00+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/21/i-think-today-should-be-apple-pie-monday/2014-02-03T13:56:00+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/21/the-horrors-of-blogging/2013-11-22T18:51:26+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/22/things-that-people-eat-concern-me/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/baby_cow_face.jpgBaby CowThis photo (sans labels) is courtesy of a blog that likes eating veal - Gratuity Not Included.2013-11-22T18:51:08+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/23/life-lesson-the-rules-of-halloween/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/shark-dog.jpgThe Costume Your Dog NeedsOne of the options that results from a Google Image Search for "Women's Stegosaurus Costume."2014-01-27T15:58:55+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/24/why-corporate-meetings-should-never-last-longer-than-one-hour/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/batmike.jpgBatMikeBatMike...aka "Bruce Wang" (Kudos for this image and slick pun go to the artist: @jeremyhyler on twitter http://www.filmlifeco.com)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/lady-dafoe.jpgLady DafoeFor your escape-daydream reference,.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/99-red-balloons.jpg99 Red BalloonsThese balloons are on their way to my dance party.2013-11-22T18:50:32+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/25/things-i-have-said-to-people-this-week-october-18-25/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/sippy-soy-e1382709036851.jpgSippy SoyI would like to remind you that I have no children. This was purchase as a wine-drinking safety device.2014-01-27T16:04:09+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/28/financial-ideas-from-a-recession-era-college-graduate/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/ninjadoodle.jpgNinjaDoodleThis is a drawing of a ninja being attacked by a very small superhero under a very convincing sun, which has been added simply to ensure that you read the for-your-safety footnotes above. _You're welcome._2013-11-22T18:49:48+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/29/todays-favorite-thing-shark-stalking/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/sharkmelon.jpgSharkmelon"I AM SO MUCH COOLER THAN A SHARK COOKIE."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/shark-stalking.jpgShark StalkingOMG, y'all! You can follow SPECIFIC SHARKS. And his name is "Rizzilient." It's like I'm stalking a shark rap star you guys!!! http://www.ocearch.org/2013-11-22T18:49:33+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/30/life-lesson-the-dmv/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/sparkley-eye.gifSparkly EyeMy eyes do not sparkle like this.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/dmv-robots.jpgDMV RobotsThe California DMV is even using robot terminals to avoid letting you talk to a real person.2013-11-22T18:49:19+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/10/31/its-the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/halloween-blood-sucking-lawyer.jpgHalloween Blood Sucking Lawyerhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/halloween-dino.jpgImASaurusRexI was chasing a tiny dog dressed like a dinosaur at this time. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/halloweenosaurus.pngHalloweenosaurusThis glorious example of costume excellence and artistry is courtesy of my favorite blog, Hyperbole and a Half. Go read it and buy her book.2013-11-22T18:49:05+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/01/things-i-have-said-to-people-this-week-oct-25-nov-1/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/ocelot.jpgOcelotSERPENTINE BABOU! SERPENTINE!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/peggy.jpgPeggy BundyliciousIt's honestly both disturbing and reassuring how long it took me to find a turquoise leopard print shirt.2013-11-22T18:48:48+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/04/why-standard-time-is-better-than-chocolate/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/soup.jpgSoup!And soup is a good season. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/alien.jpgMonsters Love ChocolateAnd even Lenny the Tiny Adorable Alien loves chocolate covered espresso beans.2013-11-22T18:48:33+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/05/there-comes-a-time-in-every-girls-life/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/broken-ruby-slippers.jpgBroken Ruby SlippersExhibit F.1: Not recommended for travel on the yellow brick road.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/ruby-slippers.jpgRuby SlippersExhibit F: There's no place like my closet...There's no place like my closet.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/vintage-running-shoes.jpgVintage Running ShoesExhibit C: Real vintage Addidas running shoes, circa late 2002.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/strappy-graduation-pumps.jpgStrappy Graduation PumpsExhibit E: Torture devices in the guise of graduation-ready high heels.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/classy-star-wars-sandals.jpgClassy Star Wars SandalsExhibit C: They light up. Seriously.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/classy-boots.jpgPractical Fall FootwearExhibit B: Several thousand pounds of boots, compressed into one seriously overkill pair.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/an-exercise-in-matching-flipflops.jpgAll the flippy floppiesExhibit A: Too many black flippy floppies2013-11-22T18:48:17+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/06/cat-lady-101-a-guide-to-your-cats-expressions/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3080.jpgWhats That?"Hey, what's that thing? What are you doing? Is it food?"https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3082.jpgFace Lick"I ate the laces out of all your shoes while you were sleeping."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3079.jpgGet Away"Get. Away. From. Me."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3083.jpgComputer Tasting"Oh, is this your expensive new laptop? I'm going to chew the top and then sleep on it."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3086.jpgBring it Closer"My clear disinterest will force you to bring the treat closer to my face, silly human."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3085.jpgTreat Face"I am applying my cuteness liberally, in an effort to obtain bonus food."https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3076.jpgNewt"Photograph me, human, for I look regal here on top of your clean laundry,"https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/cat_lady_starter_kit_.jpegTime to Get Started!Oh good. You ordered through Amazon Prime.2014-01-27T20:07:12+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/07/everything-you-need-is-on-craigslist/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/free-candy.jpgFree CandyHey guys! Guys! This is an honest internet ad for FREE CANDY! ...Are you going to call Dateline, or should I?https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/free-waxing.jpgFree WaxingBecause when I think about someone dumping hot wax on my skin, I think "It better be free!"https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/free-questionable-food.jpgFree Questionable Food"Some may be out of date" - but it's free, so you probably won't get tape worms.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/free-bathing-gloves.jpgFree Bathing Gloves*probably not used. _Probably._https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/free-dirt-space.jpgFree Dirt SpaceThis offer is ONLY GOOD for clean dirt. So please wash it before you bring it over.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/free-chin-ups.jpgFree Chin UpsSuitable for any location! Ergonomic! Great for the Outdoorsman in your life! Won't give you tetanus! (maybe) 2013-11-22T18:47:46+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/08/bloggerconfessions/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/vampire-ecard.pngTrue TragedyI really talk like this, y'all. It's pretty awful to know me.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/blog-post-ecard.pngBlog Post ECardI know. You're all very sad about this. I feel just _awful_.*2013-11-22T18:47:32+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/13/beingnormal/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3154.jpgPost It ConfessionAs a reward for learning a life lesson, here is a Post-It Note Confession that I randomly left, unsigned, on a coworker's desk. Because I'm _normal_.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/lessons-in-social-life.jpgLessons in Social LifeLook. In my defense, I was like, 6 when I developed this theory. Also, my parents had me convinced it was cool to be smart. _Thanks_, parents. 2014-02-04T17:39:27+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/12/everyone-in-my-office-is-on-a-diet/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/mixer-fun-with-marshmallows1.jpgFun with MarshmallowsPoint of fact: It is only AFTER you eat cemented sugar that you will remember you have a dentist appointment in the morning.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3138.jpgWhy I can never give up my day jobThis is why I will not be giving up my day job for confectionery artistry.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3139.jpgChopped up peanut butter marshmallowsAlternatively, you could probably just eat the whole blob. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3130.jpgJello!This ALSO gooshes and wobbles.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3141.jpgChocolate Peanut Butter Marshmallows in the pan.Total artistry, I know. I could probably give up my day job and rely solely on my marshmallow making. _Definitely_https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3142.jpgWhipped Marshmallow FluffBe sure to eat any fluff that happens to stick to the mixer attachment. https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3144.jpgPeanut ButterIt's peanut butter! https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/mixer-fun-with-marshmallows.jpgMixer Fun with MarshmallowsPoint of fact: It is only AFTER you eat cemented sugar that you will remember you have a dentist appointment in the morning.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3101.jpgThe sugary, sticky syrupy stageThis pot is actually too big for this task, but turns out sugar, corn syrup and water don;t boil up the same way honey does. Science!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/gelatin-and-water.jpgGelatin and WaterWhen you poke it, it sort of gooshes AND wobbles.2013-11-22T18:46:52+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/14/psa_mpdg/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/finland.jpgFinland + CanadaFinland and Canada, together at last! We're all doomed.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/brazilian_wandering_spider.jpgHorrifying Spider MonstersHorrifying spider monsters _totally_ included. Trust me. *The Weekly World News is responsible for this picture. Thanks WWN!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/not-this-obvious.jpgMPD-Guys: Not this ObviousTragically, MPD-Guys are not this obvious. *2013-11-22T18:45:21+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/15/terribleidea/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/candy-bars.jpgCandy BarsAny one of these will do. Seriously. Chocolate is everywhere. GET OFF THE INTERNET! (Image via the glorious Cup of Joe http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/creepy-guy.jpgCreepy GuyCreepy like this guy. As a side note, this may be a surprisingly similar picture to the Chocolate-Maker's Facebook picture.2013-11-22T18:45:02+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/18/psa32/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/earthquake-survivial-3.jpgEarthquake Survivial 3I may have taken the time to modernize this survival approach from original school instruction techniques. You're welcome. (You can't really tell, but that's totally a karate-kid, end-of-the-world ass-kicking bandananananana that my carefully drawn stick figure is wearing. You WISH you had my art skills. I should have been an illustrator.)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/earthquake-survival-2.jpgEarthquake survival 2Two things: 1) I just noticed that most of the time when I draw stick figures, I make them dance, and 2) Coworkers are _always_ impractical. (I think it's the whiteout that sells the level of effort I've invested in this.)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/earthquake-survival-1.jpgEarthquake Survival 1Really, I'm only transcribing what I remember from earthquake drills in school. Or maybe I was possibly taking a nap at the time and this is what I remember. Anyway: FOLLOW DIRECTIONS, guys.2013-11-22T18:44:48+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/19/i-do-not-know-everything/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/leave-me-alone.pngLeave Me Alonehttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/forms-e1384881763238.jpgWhich Forms^ Actual question I have been asked. Verbatim.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/boxes-e1384881508108.jpgPsychic Weight ReadingsI'm serious. People ask me this. A lot. Maybe I'm accidentally dressing like a US Postal Service employee every day? https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/graduate-e1384881188663.jpgGraduateAhhh...the naive enthusiasm of youth. That piece of paper cost $87,000.2013-11-22T18:44:10+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/20/awfuldating/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/all-the-flamingos.jpgAll the FlamingosYou're welcome.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/awful-dating.jpgAwful DatingI'm starting to think I should invent a Life Alert for bad dates.2014-03-07T14:17:17+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/21/brookstonecatalog/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3231-e1385043842680.jpgBrookstone's Best GiftFor WHO, Brookstone? FOR WHO?!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3232-e1385043296611.jpgPersonal MassagersSeriously. Just buy the chair.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_32251-e1385043161145.jpgHapiFork"Really? You want to eat THAT? Using ME? I don't think so, buddy." https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3226-e1385042938565.jpgIPhone RobotIt's definitely not terrifying at ALL, kids!https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/skymall.jpgSkyMallSkyMall is a rebel. Their holiday catalog doesn't even picture the holidays. You show 'em, SkyMall.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/totally-terrifying-shark.jpgTotally Terrifying Basking SharkI'd even swim with this totally terrifying basking shark. No, wait, I'd ESPECIALLY swim with this totally terrifying, toothless filter-feeder shark... (Image a la the WWF)https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/two-cataloggs-e1385041248524.jpgTwo Brookstone CatalogsThis year I got TWO of them! Bonus!2013-11-22T18:43:39+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.com/2013/11/22/adviceishard/https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/blieving-in-scientology.jpgBlieving in ScientologyHow is this not the same thing as imparting sage wisdom? I still haven't learned my own life lesson.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/sunset.jpgSunsetJust remember: Love's like a sunshowerhttps://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/09_journey.jpgJourney Is Here for YouThose faces are just so trustworthy and knowledgeable. Click for the original image, which is mercifully free of MS Paint.https://perpetualplothole.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/alice-cooper-high-school-hearththrob.jpgAlice Cooper High School HearththrobSorry Mr. Cooper. I wasn't exactly an _artiste_. It was totally true love, y'all.2013-11-25T14:06:36+00:00monthlyhttps://perpetualplothole.comdaily1.02019-09-26T18:51:36+00:00